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#1 (permalink) Thu Sep 02, 2010 15:01 pm hese people treat their birds, or other animals like members of their family |
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Hi Kitos, Could yow be so kind to check my new essay. Thanks a lot.
Dogs, cats, rabbits and any animal which live with a family, often they come to become in an essential member for that family. The question is whether these relationships are good or not. From my point of view, I think that these relationships are great. To continue I will present some of my reasons. First of all, pets are usually our best friends and they have the ability to change our mood. For example, when I go home, after a hard working day, the first I see is my dog. He is always sitting in front of the door waiting for me. He begins to jump and move his tail. I immediately forget tiredness and boringness. He brings me happiness and a lot of energy to keep on doing more things.
On the other hand, psychologists and physicians think that pets are good for children because these help them to be responsible and to share their things such as toys and food. For instance, a child who has a dog must take his pet for a walk, every day. Also, he must give food and clean its bed. The relationship between the child and the dog is too intensive what he learns to express, to know and to control his feelings from very young. Also, there are people that think all the opposite to that. They say that pets bring with them many illnesses and dirtiness especially for kids because they play with dogs, for instance, and then they are put their hands into their mouths, noses and eyes. Moreover, animals can have parasitic and microorganisms which can be to transferred to the children.
Finally, you never feel alone. You only need to see how old people live with a pet to prevent from aloneness because pets are faithful and always they will be with us. In conclusion, whichever way you look at it, live with animal always is beneficial and comforting.
TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture by a professor of Art |
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Silviarocio13 I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 30 Mar 2010 Posts: 13
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#2 (permalink) Thu Sep 02, 2010 17:15 pm hese people treat their birds, or other animals like members of their family |
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Hi Kitos, Could yow be so kind to check my new essay. Thanks a lot.
Dogs, cats, rabbits, OR ANY animal THAT liveS with a family, often they come to become in an essential member for OF that family. The question is whether these relationships are good or not. From my point of view, I think that these relationships are great. To continue I will present some of my reasons. First of all, pets are usually our best friends and they have the ability to change our mood. For example, when I go home, after a hard working day, the first THING I see is my dog. He is always sitting in front of the door waiting for me. He begins to jump and WAG his tail. I immediately forget MY tiredness and boringnessBEING BORED. He brings me happiness and a lot of energy to keep on doing more things.
On the other hand, psychologists and physicians think that pets are good for children(,) because these help them to be responsible and to share their things such as toys and food. For instance, a child who has a dog must take his pet for a walk every day. Also, he must give IT food and clean its bed. The relationship between the child and the dog is VERY intensive(.) What he learns to express, to know and to control his feelings from A very young AGE. Also, there are people that think all the opposite to that. They say that pets bring with them many illnesses and dirtiness(,) especially for CHILDREN(,) because THE CHILDREN play with dogs, for instance, and then they are put their hands into their mouths, noses and eyes. Moreover, animals can have parasitic and micro-organisms which can be EASILY transferred to the children.
Finally, you never feel alone. You only need to see how old people live with a pet to prevent THEMSELVES from aloneness(,) because pets are faithful and always they will be with us. In conclusion, whichever way you look at it, livING with AN animal IS always beneficial and comforting. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That was pretty good Silviarocio. I too love dogs.
Kitos. 8/10 _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#3 (permalink) Thu Sep 02, 2010 17:30 pm hese people treat their birds, or other animals like members of their family |
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Dogs, cats, rabbits, and any animals which live with a family, often they come to become in an essential members for of that family. The question is whether these relationships are good or not. From my point of view, I think that these relationships are great, for the following reasons. To continue I will present some of my reasons.
First of all, pets are usually our best friends and they have the ability to change our mood. For example, when I go home, after a hard working day, the first family member(?) I see is my dog. He is always sitting sits in front of the door waiting for me. He begins to jump and move (wag) his tail. I immediately forget tiredness and boringness boredom. He brings me happiness and a lot of energy to keep on doing more things.
On the other hand (On the other hand = however) Furthermore (or, secondly), psychologists and physicians think that pets are good for children because these they help the children them to be become responsible and to share their things such as toys and food. For instance, a child who has a dog must take his pet for a walk (,) every day. Also, he must give it food and clean its bed. The relationship between the child and the dog is too intensive so close what that he learns to express, to know and to control his feelings from very young an early age.
AlsoHowever, there are people that who think all the opposite to that. They say that pets bring with them many illnesses and dirtiness , especially for kids because they play with dogs, for instance, and then they are put their hands into their mouths, noses, and eyes. Moreover, animals can have parasitic parasites and microorganisms which can be to transferred to the children.
Finally, you never feel alone. You only need to see how old people live with a pet to prevent from aloneness loneliness because pets are faithful and always they will be with us.
In conclusion, whichever way you look at it, live living with animals always is beneficial and comforting.
Silviarocio13,
Great work! Your argument is pretty clear, and now I'm convinced that it's good to have pets in the house.
Here's one improvement you can make to the intellectual structure of your argument:
You have three paragraphs defending your position, and one opposing it (paragraph 4 about what people say).
You see, that paragraph simply contradicts your main point. One thing you can do is to offer your opposition to those people's views in the same paragraph. Another thing you can do is simply get rid of paragraph 4 - that's what I would do. Your essay stands well without it.
Keep writing - you're very smart.
Phil www.300easywords.com |
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TutorPhil I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 29 Jun 2010 Posts: 140
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| Study history will make us better person? | going to school is required or optional |