My second avdantages&disadvantages essay thanks for reply

[!mmortal]

With the development of technology,Television has became the most important part of our lives.Almost everyone watch tv however,tv shows thing which is not for everyone.Some people say that tv shows inappropriate things for children and this cause bad effects on our children.However watching tv has some advantages in addition to its disadvantages.There are some disadvantages.Firstly
You can become antisocial if you watch tv too much.You should adjust your time for everything not only watcing tv but also enjoying with friends.Moreover,people can become obese becuse while watching tv they eat too much junk food without knowing it and they cannot do enough exercise becuse they cannot stop watching tv.Despite these disadvantages,watching tv has also several advantages.To begin with,You can learn things about current issues.Tv shows things around world and helps to broaden our vision.Moreover,you have fun while watching tv.When you in a bad mood you can watch tv in order to have fun there are some comedy programs talk shows on tv.If you watch these programmes you will probably in a good mood.To conclude,watching tv has both the advantages and disadvantages and we should consider them before deciding whether watching tv is bad or good

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Natural History

[Kitosdad]

With the development of technology,Television has became the most important part of our lives.Almost everyone watchES tv(.) however,tv shows thingS THAT ARE not for everyone.Some people say that tv shows inappropriate things for children and this causeS bad effects on our children.However watching tv has some advantages in addition to its disadvantages.There are some disadvantages.Firstly
You can become antisocial if you watch tv too much.You should adjust your time for everything not only watcing tv but also enjoying TIMEwith friends.Moreover,people can become obese becAuse while watching tv they eat too much junk food without knowing it and they cannot do enough exercise becAuse they cannot stop watching tv.Despite these disadvantages,watching tv has also several advantages.To begin with,you can learn things about current issues.Tv shows things FROM around world and helps to broaden our vision.Moreover,you have fun while watching tv.When you ARE in a bad mood you can watch tv in order to have fun there are some comedy programs talk shows on tv.If you watch these programmes you will probably in a good mood.To conclude,watching tv has both the advantages and disadvantages and we should consider them before deciding whether watching tv is bad or good
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Good morning Immortal. This should have been a good essay, but your total disregard of punctuation and bad organising of your opinions spoiled it. Give yourself a good shake and knuckle down to doing more studying. You have the ability to be a very good student ... us it!

Kitos. 7/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[!mmortal]

thanks sir

[Kitosdad]

No need to thank me Immortal. Do something about it. You really do need to try harder. Work of this quality will never be acceptable to the TOEFL examiners.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.