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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives



 
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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives #1 (permalink) Sat Sep 18, 2010 20:00 pm   Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives
 

Hello
Please check my essay and tell my mistakes.
170 Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
Perhaps the main factor of human lifestyle is life figure as complex colonies. It shows human like live in community form, since they lived in caves till now. The basic form of community is family. Then people know larger communities like schools, universities, society and whole global. Managing these groups make organizations.
In my point of view, people canít live out of groups and organizations because they need to do things together. Individuals can not acquire all the knowledge and skills lonely. People need to talk to each other; itís one of the basic reasons of creating languages in different parts of our universe.
Nowadays psychologists believe that, persons who are afraid of joining groups and communities are sick. They know this behaviour as a psychopath. So people need to join others in order to have happier times and do more hobbies.
Also being in groups help people to improve their minds and to be healthier.
On the other hand, living in a society with a lot of groups and organizations will lead all members to improve their abilities. For instance, when students try to make small groups in school, they will also learn some other social relationships and behaviours.
Finally, all people around the world are themselves members of many groups and organizations unknowingly. These small groups and organizations make communities and communities make our universe. It looks like a pyramid which all of its parts is related and joined to together.
In short, individuals are humankind members. The important matter is effort to lead humankind and global to glory.
This essay has 261 words


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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives #2 (permalink) Sat Sep 18, 2010 21:15 pm   Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives
 

Not really acceptable Ruzbeh. You need to do a lot of reading and to get your sentence structure in order. You have a great number of errors in this work. Your basic ideas are good, but you need to be able to write them in a much more understandable form.

Kitos. 7/10
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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives #3 (permalink) Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:46 pm   Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives
 

Hi
Thank you dear Kitos.

As you see, I am a beginner, and I need your advises to improve my english skills.
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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives #4 (permalink) Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:55 pm   Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives
 

You will receive all the help I am capable of Ruzbeh, rest assured.
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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives #5 (permalink) Sun Sep 19, 2010 13:05 pm   Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives
 

Thanks for your patient.
Yours sincerely
Ruzbeh
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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives #6 (permalink) Thu Sep 23, 2010 23:15 pm   Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives
 

Hello
I try to rewrite this essay.
Please show me the mistakes I have made.

170 Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
What exactly the benefits of groups or organizations in peopleís life? People are living, studying and working in groups. Nowadays sociologists find that people like to live with other ones and make their different communities.
Perhaps people have reaped benefits from groups. They work together for one aim. They will gain the same profits. In my point of view, no one canít live lonely or far from society. Also human have various social ability.
Groups or organizations are made by first humankinds. They were hunting and living with each other. All of them were normally family members. They divided works between all members. Young and strong person should hunt for the entire group, women were looking after childes and the oldest man was managing them.
Being a group or organization member will improve social skills. The people with particular aim can make a group such as sport team fans. People can learn new things from each other in order to aim goal. In some huge group or organizations may be you donít know other members but all of the members are having common factor and following the same goal.
On the other hand, each person able to has membership on different groups or organizations at a time. Likewise people connect to each other like chain rings. Each person knows his/her family as first group.
In my opinion groups and organization need to be manage. The head master of each group for gain the best efficient of his/her group should manage as best as possible. Do the works in groups increasing time, financial and precision efficiency.
In short groups or organizations will increase the quantity and quality together instead working singular. These can play main figure in people life.
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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives #7 (permalink) Fri Sep 24, 2010 4:35 am   Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives
 

Hello
I try to rewrite this essay.
Please show me the mistakes I have made.

170 Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

What exactly ARE the benefits of groups or organizations in peopleís life? People are living, studying and working in groups. Nowadays sociologists find that people like to live with otherS ones and make their different communities.
Perhaps people have reaped benefits from groups. They work together for one aim. They will gain the same profits. In FROM my point of view, no one CAN live lonely or far from society. Also humanS have various social abilitIES.
Groups or organizations WERE made by first humankinds. They were hunting and living with each other. All of them (THEY) were normally family members. They divided THEIR work between all members. THE young and strong ONES person WOULD hunt for the entire group, WHILST THE women were looking after THE CHILDREN and the oldest man was managing them.
Being a group or organization member will improve social skills. The People with particular aimS can make a group, such as sport team fans. People can learn new things from each other in order to ACHIEVE THEIR goal. In some huge groupS or organizations (maybe) you donít know other members, but all of the members are SHARING ONE common factor and following the same goal.

On the other hand, each person IS able to HAVE membership IN different groups or organizations at ANY ONE time. Likewise people connect to each other like chain rings. Each person knows his/her family as THEIR first group.
In my opinion groups and organization need to be manageD. The head master of each group should manage as best as possible TO GAIN THE GREATEST EFFICIENCY FROM HIS GROUP by doing the work in groups, THEREBY ATTAINING increasing time, precise financial efficiency.
In short groups or organizations will increase the quantity and quality together instead OF working singularLY. These can figure greatly in peopleS LIVES.
.............................................................................................................................
Good morning Ruzbeh. This is a great improvement. Keep it up.

Kitos. 8/10
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Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives #8 (permalink) Fri Sep 24, 2010 8:08 am   Essay: Groups or organizations are an important part of people's lives
 

Hello
Have good time dear Kitodad.
If I have some good friends like you I will improve my english skills as soom as posible.
As you know I try to get band 6 on IELTS exam, inorder to assess for my migration.
Perhaps I need your hellpful comments to aim this goal.

yours sincerely
Ruzbeh
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Ruzbeh
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Posts: 234
Location: Persepolis

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