Analysis of an argument

[Monali]

The following is an excerpt from a letter sent by the principal of Greenwood School to the parents of all incoming kindergarteners.

“We have decided to institute a policy of all-day kindergarten, instead of half-day kindergarten, for all students at Greenwood School . All-day kindergarten will help all our students achieve at their highest levels. The classes will be ‘tracked’ so that average students are together, but high-achieving and low-achieving students will be put together in classes. In this way, the high-achieving students will be able to help pull the low-achieving students up to their level, so that no student falls behind. The all-day kindergarten classes will cover the same material previously covered in the half-day kindergarten classes, but will go at a slower speed to accommodate learning differences. In addition, the students will receive extra instruction in music, art, and physical education. One of the greatest benefits of the plan, however, is that students will be in a structured environment for longer hours, reducing the numbers of hours that otherwise would be wasted at home or in day care.”



The excerpt relays the message that the Principal of Greenwood School wants to convert his school into only an all-day kindergarten.

One of the supporting argument he provides is that the all-day kindergarnten will help students become high-achievers. He goes on to explain, how the classes will be tracked and that the average achievers will be put in one class and the high-achievers and low-achievers will together be put in a seperate class. An assumption is made that the high-achievers will help pull up the low-achievers to their level. Again, no evidence is provided. This strategy could go either way and he might have a school of all-average achievers. Quoting an example or study of how such a set-up helped increase the overall achievement level of students would help strengthen his point.

The second argument that he gives supporting his decision is that the longer hours with the same material will help accomadate learning differences. There is no evidence to support his claim. Learning differences could be due the way children learn. It may be that a difference in teaching style would speed their learning instead of more time.

The third argument talks about exposing the children to music, art and physical education. He again doesn't provide any evidence to suggest how this will benefit the children and not be an extra burden on them. A convincing evidence could be how a holistic approach helped nuture a child's development.

Lastly, the stress is again on the structured environment for longer hours, which could be wasted in home or day-care. A structured environment could stifle the natural tendencies of the child to learn uninhibited. Also, the importance of relationships is strengthened by staying at home. The child could be overly stressed with an all-day kindergarten program. Again, an evidence on how structured environment for longer hours help the children more should be provided. It could state that structure helps set a routine for the child and life for the kid becomes more predictable, hence joyful.

[Kitosdad]

[Monali]

Thanks Kitos. I have another request, could you also critique my essay. The thread title is "2nd attempt on writing an essay. I am giving GRE on Sept 30th. Please help." Someone suggested that I modify the title of the thread but I can not seem to do it. Thanks again for your help and advice.

[Beeesneees]

Hi Monali,

I suggest you rename it
Only once one has known real sadness can one feel true happiness.
to reflect the title of your essay.
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Cheers m' dears!

[Monali]

Hey Beeesneees

The system wont allow me to do it. I tried but didn't succeed. Anyway, I just have one more day to go before appearing for the test. So, the help that I have got is sufficient. Thanks for your advice and wish me luck.

Cheers.

[Beeesneees]

Unfortunately I can't make changes to someone else's title in that particular forum, so I can't help you out. If you send a PM to Kitosdad explaining what's happened, with a link to the essay, he might take pity on you. Bear the requirement for a 'proper' title in mind for next time though.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll be great.
_________________
Cheers m' dears!