What do you like and dislike about studying abroad?

[Mohammad64]

Hello Kitosdad,
I was wondering if you would amend my essay. Could you tell me your idea about the format of my essay. Is the format what it should be as to the topic?

Topic: What do you like and dislike about studying abroad?

There are several things that I like or dislike about studying abroad. Being in a new world, visiting attractive sites and making new friends who are culturally different to me are aspects that I like. On the other hand, being far from my family, friends and country are matters that I dislike.
On the one hand, studying in a foreign country is an amazing experiEnce. To begin with, you have the opportunity to be in a new environment and know its culture more. I personaLly like to get familiar with the way other people think and behave because I can learn a lot of things which I can exercise with adaptation for my own life. Secondly, I can visit several attractive sites which I had not had the chance to behold. Visiting other nations' monuments and attractive places can make you feel that you know your world better. Thirdly, you can make a lot of new friend, who are different from you in many cultural aspects. For example, having a friendly relationship with an American can help you to think as he DO and it can be very helpful for you to know his or her ideas about different matters.
On the other hand, I think I might be homesick considering the fact that I really love my family and country. I have a really good bond with my parents and brothers. Being away from them can make me deprived of their love, affection and advice. Furthermore, I am really a patriot and it would BE so difficult for me to leave my country and people.
In conclusion, I should say that studying in a forEIgn country can provide ME with lots of opportunities. I can expand you knowledge about other people on the Earth while I AM in another country and that is what I like. However, I dislike BEING far from my folks and my lovely countrymen.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an adviser in the university's work-study program
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[Kitosdad]

Hello Kitosdad,
I was wondering if you would amend my essay. Could you tell me your idea about the format of my essay. Is the format what it should be as to the topic?

Topic: What do you like and dislike about studying abroad?

There are several things that I like or dislike about studying abroad. Being in a /new world/DIFFERENT COUNTRY AND visiting attractive sites(,) and making new friends who are culturally different to me are aspects that I like. On the other hand, being far from my family, friends and country are matters that I dislike.

On the one hand, studying in a foreign country is an amazing experiEnce. To begin with, you have the opportunity to be in a new environment and know its culture more. I personaLly like to get familiar with the way other people think and behave because I can learn a lot of things which I can exercise with adaptation for my own life. Secondly, I can visit several attractive sites which I had not had the chance to behold. Visiting other nations' monuments and attractive places can make you feel that you know your world better. Thirdly, you can make a lot of new friendS, who are different from you in many cultural aspects. For example, having a friendly relationship with an American can help you to think as he DOES and it can be very helpful for you to know his or her ideas about different matters.
On the other hand, I think I might be homesick considering the fact that I really love my family and country. I have a really good bond with my parents and brothers. Being away from them can make me FEEL deprived of their love, affection and advice. Furthermore, I am really a patriot and it would BE so difficult for me to leave my country and people.

In conclusion, I should say that studying in a forEIgn country can provide ME with lots of opportunities. I can expand you knowledge about other people on the Earth while I AM in another country and that is what I like. However, I dislike BEING far from my folks and my lovely countrymen.
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You did well with this Mohammad. I liked it.

itos. 8.5/10
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