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The things we learn from our friends are more important than family, agree or not



 
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ESL Forum | Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and essay samples collection
Eating out/at home. | computer games do more harm than good to children.
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The things we learn from our friends are more important than family, agree or not #1 (permalink) Fri Oct 01, 2010 17:50 pm   The things we learn from our friends are more important than family, agree or not
 

Hi Kitos, This is my essay for today, Thanks for correcting it

It should be admitted that different people affect human’s life in diverse ways. Family members are the first ones whom an individual sees, and children are influenced by them especially in their childhood. Nevertheless, as children grow up, they will go to school, and they will become familiar with their peers. Consequently, they will learn many things from them. From my point of view, the things which we learn from our family are more important than the things we learn from others.
In the first place, it is better to be mentioned that children learn the most valuable things from their family members, and it would be wrong to compare them with anything. Family, especially father and mother, teach children the way that they should live to be successful in their lives. On the other hand, friends don’t have enough knowledge about living, and they teach us short term values. As a result, they can never teach us significant things which we will need in our future lives. As an example, my mother taught me the most precious point in my social interactions which was honesty, and I have always been thankful for her comment. Moreover, while she encouraged me to study more, my friends helped me to enjoy every single second of my life.
Furthermore, family members have more experience in life, and they can guide us better. If we face difficult situation, they will help us perfectly because they think deeply in every occasions. For instance, I learned from my parents that the best way to be successful in life is to pursue my education. However, one of my close friends always tries to convince me to work rather than studying. If I had listened to my friend, I would have never had my present position.
To sum up, based on the above discussion, we can never learn important things from our friends since they have enough knowledge and experience that we have. Indeed, no one can ever deny that nobody such as family members wants our success in life.

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Sarak
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Joined: 10 Aug 2010
Posts: 126

The things we learn from our friends are more important than family, agree or #2 (permalink) Fri Oct 01, 2010 19:16 pm   The things we learn from our friends are more important than family, agree or
 

Hi Kitos, This is my essay for today, Thanks for correcting it

It should be admitted that different people affect OTHER humans LIVES in diverse ways. Family members are the first ones whom an individual sees, and children are influenced by them(,) especially in their childhood. Nevertheless, as children grow up, they will go to school, and they will become familiar with their peers. Consequently, they will learn many things from them. From my point of view, the things which we learn from our family are more important than the things we learn from others.

In the first place, it is better to be mentioned that children learn the most valuable things from their family members, and it would be wrong to compare them with anything. Family, especially ONES father and mother, teach children the way that they should live to be successful in their lives. On the other hand, friends don’t have enough knowledge about living, and they teach us short term values. As a result, they can never teach us significant things which we will need in our future lives. As an example, my mother taught me the most precious point in my social interactions(,) which was honesty, and I have always been thankful for her comment. Moreover, while she encouraged me to study more, my friends helped me to enjoy every single second of my life.
Furthermore, family members have more experience in life, and they can guide us better. If we face A difficult situation, they will help us perfectly because they think deeply ON every occasion. For instance, I learned from my parents that the best way to be successful in life is to pursue my education. However, one of my close friends always tries to convince me to work rather than studying. If I had listened to my friend, I would have never had my present position.

To sum up, based on the above discussion, we can never learn important things from our friends since they DO NOT have enough knowledge and experience that PARENTS have. Indeed, no one can ever deny that nobody such as family members wants our success in life MORE THAN ONES FAMILY:.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
A great improvement Sarak. Please pay particular to the content of your conclusion. This is the most important part of you work. See how yours has almost made a hash of this essay.

Kitos. 8/10
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The things we learn from our friends are more important than family, agree or not #3 (permalink) Fri Oct 01, 2010 20:08 pm   The things we learn from our friends are more important than family, agree or not
 

thanks kitos, I will pay more attention
Sarak
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 10 Aug 2010
Posts: 126

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