Could you please check my grammar?

[JustMe]

Hi there,
I'm a fellow from Russia who learns English rather seriously, and also I like to write some lyrics in this language. I'll be very grateful if you can check my grammar! Thanks.

ONE TIME IS CHECKED, THANX !!!

BALLAD

I was so scared when returned home.
I survived; I was let to live more.
All my friends were killed by this monstrous storm,
And I thought it was awful – before.

What people meet me, how the faces have changed!
Hardly spot them, and it is not fine…
I caught somebody’s eye; it was my old friend –
Now he’s friendly to money and wine.

Who is it? I’ve been falling for her years ago,
But this terrible war parted us.
In those times she would be so easy-to-go
And her eyes were as green as the grass.

Now the greyness is in all her body and soul,
I suspect in entire my town, too.
Like just fallen out snow, all the glances are cold,
Drinking here is what only to do.

It’s my homeland; my house is not far away,
But my being here will not be long.
I should run; I shall choose any road, any way
Just to leave all this dangerous world…

THE FARAWAY SUMMER

The weather is fine and I’m feeling like rest.
The day’s at all mine and the summer’s the best.
The sun’s on the sky and there’s no any rain.
I’m joyful some why and wanna feel it again.

Bring back the summer, ev’ry flash, ev’ry sound!
Bring back the summer, say how it can be found!
Bring back the summer, bring back for any cash!
Bring back the summer, wanna see it afresh!

Oh yeah I wanna go –
Back to the summer where I’m playin’ around!
Back to the summer where I don’t feel the ground!
Back to the summer where so happy would be!
Oh bring back it lying over oceans to me!!!

ANEW

I see you anywhere
I have to go.
I’m losin’ any care
When leavin’ home.

I’m tryin’ to explain –
Silent’s my mind.
I do this all in vain –
Its cause won’t find.

I don’t know why,
I don’t know why,
I don’t know why,
I don’t know why.

I try to stop myself –
But only fail.
I’ve spent my money self
On checkin’ mail.

I meet you ev’ry time –
Whatever do.
Worth less than ev’n a dime
Others near you.

In love anew,
In love anew,
In love anew,
In love anew.

[Mister Micawber]

.
Hi, Just Me--

I took a look at your first song, One Time, and the only real problem that I found is in the last line:

And it not always makes glad me…

The word order is too extreme (makes glad me should grammatically read makes me glad), so you should try to find another way of phrasing this line-- for instance:

And it not always comforts me.

Much of your lyrics I do not really understand, but that's true of many native English songwriters, too, like Bob Dylan.

Maybe another native member will check the grammar in your other songs.
.
_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Alan]

Hi JustMe,

Perhaps that line could read:

And it not always gladdens me.

Just a thought.

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Present Simple