FS' Writing Diary

[Fallingstar8]

Hello everyone, despite I have got the forum account for a long time, it is my first time to post my thoughts here.

Hope you could help me in grammar, logic and order of writing skills.

[Fallingstar8]

I learnt attributive clause yesterday. I try to use what I learnt into writing small articles by which the writing ability can be truly improved. The following is my first diary, and your any suggestion will be appreciated.

First Diary:

Mother’s love is a soft breeze by which blow away the misery in my heart, even though I am in the lowest point of my life;
Mother’s love is a brilliant sunshine under which I retrieve my lost confidence, even though it is the coldest winter of my life;
Mother’s love is an umbrella with which I am shielded from snowy or rainy days

Mother is a light tower at night; the darker the sky is, the brighter it lights

[Justy]

Wow, I'm just blown away by your first Diary entry.
Your word are beautiful just as they are.
Very small corrections: change 'blow' to 'blows'.
DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING ELSE!
There are people who spoke English their entire life and never wrote anything as charming as your first Diary entry.
Thank you for sharing.

I will correct your first three sentences.
'Learnt' is not a word. You should use 'learned' instead of 'learnt'. 'I try' should be 'I tried'. All verbs are either past tense, current tense, or future tense. Corrections:
Yesterday, I learned attributive clauses. I tried to use these clauses in small writing samples so to improve my writing abilities. The following is my first Diary entry and any suggestion(s) will be appreciated.

[Beeesneees]

Hello Fallingstar,

Although Justy is correct when he says your thoughts were beautiful and well'written (and 'blow' should be 'blows), you ashould not be distracted by the other 'corrections' - which aren't necessarily the case.

'Learnt' is an acceptable alternative to learned. Your use of it demonstrates a greater command of English than Justy gives credit for.
'I try' could be correct in the present tense if you are still trying to put what was learned/learnt into small articles.
_________________
Cheers m' dears!

[Justy]

If you are speaking Old English, or the Queen's English 'learnt' maybe a word, but in the U.S. or Canada people will think you're a ESL student. I never heard 'learnt' in conversation. I do stand corrected, 'learnt' is a word.

Thank you for the correction Beeesnees.

[Fallingstar8]

thanks Justy and Beeesneees for your comments. I will continue to keep posting my small writing samples here, and hope both of you and more friends can point out false grammar and give your writing suggestion.

[Fallingstar8]

Most of us have formed an unrealistic picture of married life. We sometimes imagine a married life to be a neverland where stringed band is playing beautiful and invigorating music for good. Love there is simple and eternal like a fairy tale. Peter takes Wendy on an adventure journey to see sunny sides of the world in which they live happily ever after and you never have to worry about disloyalty. The other side of the picture is quite the opposite. Married life is wretched. You either desperate to escape from it or throw yourself into a new relationship, waiting for a true love which never come. Perhaps there is an element of truth in both these pictures, but with the passage of time, few of couples have had the patience and faith to find out.

[Beeesneees]