Hi...Can anyone grade my Issue Essay?

[Gtt]

Prompt - "The media (books, film, music, television, for example) tend to create rather than reflect the values of a society."

Answer -

In the period where the entire world is converging to form a global village, the role the media plays has a significant impact on our society.I partially agree to the fact that the media tends to create than reflect the values of our society.
Society is made up all types of people:children,adolescents,adults.Now if you take up the section of the society made up of children, it is more likely that he/she will be influenced by the media, which is more likely to create values. That is if a child has a habbit of reading then he/she is most likely to have absorbed a few ideas or beliefs which then he/she might apply to his/her daily life. This is not only true with the young people but also adults who are being introduced to so many new things on the media.But the major difference being that an adult can apply his/her discretion and judge the issue, where as it is less likely in case of a child.
To illustrate this I would like to present a personal example. When I was growing up I was a huge fan of Harry Potter Books. I used to read them at least 3 times hence I had grown a liking for certain characters and always tried to act like the character when I was around people.
On the other hand, I think media plays a huge role in reflecting the values of the society. The recent rise of World Wide Web has aided the media in doing this.Today we can know everything right from what happened in the government of country X to which hotel in city Y offers my favourite dish.
To describe this I would like to give the example of YouTube. It is a social networking site where people from different countries and regions interact with each other on various issues. This way I can usually know what opinion do people have in other part of the world. This to me is reflection of values.
In conclusion, the media is an essential ingrediant in the present senario. It not only helps to reflect the values that is ideas and beliefs but also aids in creating them.

[Kitosdad]

Prompt - "The media (books, film, music, television, for example) tend to create rather than reflect the values of a society."

Answer -

In the period where the entire world is converging to form a global village, the role the media plays has a significant impact on our society.I partially agree to the fact that the media tends to create RATHER than reflect the values of our society.
Society is made up all types of people:children,adolescents,adults.Now if you take up the section of the society made up of children, it is more likely that THEY will be influenced by the media, which is more likely to create CERTAIN values. That is if a child has THE HABIT of reading then THEY ARE most likely to have absorbed a few ideas or beliefs which THEY THEN might apply to THEIR daily LIVES. This is not only true with the young people but also adults who are being introduced to so many new things IN the media.But The major difference being that an adult can apply THEIR discretion and judge the issue, where as it is less likely in case of a child.
To illustrate this I would like to present a personal example. When I was growing up I was a huge fan of Harry Potter Books. I used to read them at least THREE times(,) hence I had grown a liking for certain characters and always tried to act like the character when I was around people.
On the other hand, I think media plays a huge role in reflecting the values of the society. The recent rise of World Wide Web has aided the media in doing this.Today we can know everything right from what HAS happened in the government of country X(,) to which hotel in city Y offers my favourite dish.
To describe this I would like to give the example of YouTube. It is a social networking site where people from different countries and regions interact with each other on various issues. This way I can usually know what opinion do people have in other partS of the world. This to me is A reflection of values.
In conclusion, the media is an essential ingrediEnt in the present sCenario. It not only helps to reflect the values(,) that is ideas and beliefs(,) but also aids in creating them.
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Quite good Gtt, but your punctuation is letting you down. Give it your immediate attention.

Kitos. 9/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Gtt]

Thank you very much for going through my essay.
I will work on my punctuation...