Please Grade my Argument Essay...

[Gtt]

Prompt -
The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.

"Five years ago, we residents of Morganton voted to keep the publicly owned piece of land known as Scott Woods in a natural, undeveloped state. Our thinking was that, if no shopping centers or houses were built there, Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as a natural parkland. But now that our town planning committee wants to purchase the land and build a school there, we should reconsider this issue. If the land becomes a school site, no shopping centers or houses can be built there, and substantial acreage would probably be devoted to athletic fields. There would be no better use of land in our community than this, since a large majority of our children participate in sports, and Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as natural parkland."

Answer-

The idea of retaining the Scott Woods in a natural, undeveloped state so as to use it as a natural parkland looks interesting.
The author claims that the vote to keep the Scott Woods safe was taken 5 years ago. May be the old residents have left and it might not be in the interest of new residents to preserve the Scott Woods.Or there might not have been any requirement of school 5 years ago but now a lot of people might in need of a new school.
The idea that building a school would not allow any other shopping mall or houses is fallacious. The author does not give an statistics on the size of the land. May be once the school is built, then there will a rise in need for a teaching faculty colony.This might then lead to cutting down of lot of trees so that shopping complex can be built to aid people living in this colony.
On the other hand Scott Woods's benefit to the community cannot be related to the children participating in sports. As stated a large number of children participate in sports which might lead to construction of larger sporting centers which might come at the expense of the Scott Woods.
In conclusion, the author should first check if it is still in general interest of the Morganton residents to save the Scott woods, and shoud also provide relevant statistics on how many children might join the school if it is built.

[Kitosdad]

Prompt -
The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.

"Five years ago, we residents of Morganton voted to keep the publicly owned piece of land known as Scott Woods in a natural, undeveloped state. Our thinking was that, if no shopping centers or houses were built there, Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as a natural parkland. But now that our town planning committee wants to purchase the land and build a school there, we should reconsider this issue. If the land becomes a school site, no shopping centers or houses can be built there, and substantial acreage would probably be devoted to athletic fields. There would be no better use of land in our community than this, since a large majority of our children participate in sports, and Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as natural parkland."

Answer-

The idea of retaining the Scott Woods in a natural, undeveloped state so as to use it as a natural parkland looks interesting.
The author claims that the vote to keep the Scott Woods safe was taken fFIVE years ago. May be the old residents have left and it might not be in the interest of new residents to preserve the Scott Woods.Or there might not have been any requirement FOR A school FIVE years ago(,) but now a lot of people might BE in need of a new school.
The idea that building a school would not allow FOR ANother shopping mall or houses is fallacious. The author does not give anY statistics on the size of the land. Maybe once the school is built, then there will a rise in need for a teaching faculty colony.This might then lead to THE cutting down of A lot of trees so that shopping complex can be built to aid people living in this colony.
On the other hand Scott Woods's benefitS to the community cannot be related to the children participating in sports. As stated(,) a large number of children participate in sports(,) which might lead to THE construction of larger sporting centers which might come at the expense of the Scott Woods.
In conclusion, the author should first check if it is still in THE general interest of the Morganton residents to save the Scott woods, and shouLd also provide relevant statistics on how many children might join the school if it is built.
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Pretty good Gtt. How come you have no punctuation problems this time?

Kitos. 9/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Gtt]

Thank you for going through my essay...
I guess I was lucky ... :-)