could anyone grade my essay

[Sophie99]

This is my first attempt at writing an essay. I have written using all that I know about essays. Please give my tips on where to improve and how to do them
Thank You
"Formal educational credentials should be the most important factor in hiring employees."

QDiscuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.

Formal educational credentials is arguably the single largest criteria used to hire employees in any firm/organisation. Though it is a necessary proof of the person's academic merit, it isn't sufficient enough for a successful stint at any job.
Firstly, the formal educational credentials of a person is a proof of the person's academic capability. Such a person, would have necesarily indepth knowledge of the subject and thus will able to take wise decisions in the interest of the organisation. Thus formal educational credentials is extremely necessary for qualification for a job.
After finding out the need for formal educational credentials the next question is it the only thing required for an employee to be hired? The answer is while it lays clear the academic background it mentions nothing about the person's emotional quotient, ability to work in a team, handle stress or any of the quintessencial qualitites needed for an employee of the new age. Thus an all round perspective, personality of the prospective employee is needed rather than academic credentials which present a lopsided view.
In the real world for most of the jobs the skills possessed by the person is much more important than all the academic qualifications the person may have. eg. For a singer, polished singing( the skills he possess) is much more important than all the degrees that they have with them.
Thus along with formal educational credentials equal importance should be given to conducting personal interviews, group discussions, group interview as all these help in identifying the all-round potential and skill of the candidate and thus can be better judged for his/her suitabilty for the job applied.

[Kitosdad]

This is my first attempt at writing an essay. I have written using all that I know about essays. Please give my tips on where to improve and how to do them
Thank You
"Formal educational credentials should be the most important factor in hiring employees."

QDiscuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.

Formal educational credentials ARE arguably the single largest criteria used to hire employees in any firm/organisation. Though it is a necessary proof of the person's academic merit, it isn't sufficient enough for a successful stint at any job.
Firstly, the formal educational credentials of a person is a proof of the person's academic capability. Such a person, would have necesSarily in-depth knowledge of the subject and thus will able to take wise decisions in the interest of the organisation. Thus formal educational credentials ARE extremely necessary AS A qualification for a job.
After finding out the need for formal educational credentials (,)the next question is(,) ARE THEY the only thing required for an employee to be hired? The answer is while it lays clear the academic background it mentions nothing about the person's emotional quotient, ability to work in a team, handle stress(,) or any of the quintessenTial qualitIES needed for an employee IN the new age. Thus an all round perspective personality of the prospective employee is needed(,) rather than academic credentials which present a lopsided view.
In the real world(,) for most of the jobs(,) the skills possessed by the person ARE much more important than all the academic qualifications the person may have. eg. For a singer, polished singing( the skills he possess) is much more important than all the degrees that they have with them.
Thus along with formal educational credentials equal importance should be given to conducting personal interviews, group discussions, group interview(,) as all these help in identifying the all-round potential and skill of the candidate(,) and thus can be better judged for his/her suitabilIty for the job VACANCY.
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Pretty good work Sophie.

Kitos. 8/10
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Sophie99]

Thank you very much for the correction.
I will keep on working on it.
Thanks again

[Rheden]

Its nice for the first time. I really love to read essay I'm looking forward to read more essay from you.

Thanks,
Rheden

[Sophie99]

Thank you very much for your feedback.
It has motivated me to strive harder with my
essays.
Please do check few of my other posts ( for which I am
waiting for a reply earnestly)

Regards
Sophie George