Why do people attend university or college?

[Hands Up]

In recent years, more and more people attend college or university in China. Even someone who has already been at work for many years goes to university again. To explain this phenomenon, I think there are some major reasons which must be considered.

For most of the students, the reason why they want to go to a university is quite simple. When they attend university or college, they acquire some specific knowledge, learn skills and gain some social experience which can help them get a good job. As everyone knows, we are living in a society that is more and more competitive; it's hard to find a job let alone a well-paid one. Company, especially big one, is more likely to have workers who have a better education background, because the well-educated workers are always working more efficiently and having more originality. They are more professional in handling the stuff in the work, and if they are stumped by the problems occurring during the work, they are more ready to gain new knowledge to solve them. Here is an example, a computer soft company may only need the people who have studied in the computer science apartment, because the work is so professional and people who without the specific knowledge have little chance to do it well. Even if there is someone that knows how to compel the program, he or she may not have the spirit of corporation which is a fundamental quality built up in the college or university. When a problem occurs, the worker who has a special training knows how to deal with it, he may solve more quickly than the worker learned the knowledge all by himself or herself. For that reason, we must go to university or college to get our diploma and some skills interrelate with the work that a company may require.

While some students, as well as their parents, felt it is too young for them to enter the society as soon as they graduate from high school. They are not even mature and know little about the people and things in reality. They are so naive and they hardly have any social experience, and it is so easy for them to get harmed. Sometimes they are too confident or curious of the things they see and hear because of their young age, they may so easily to choose a way which has no end--they may break the laws. There are far less college students criminals than the teenager who dropped school. So, it's not a bad idea for them stay in the college or university for a year or two. When they grow older, they become more sophisticated, they may know how to protect themselves, how to deal with the relationship of the all sorts of people. They may be more clear of the regulation in the society and they know what conduct is good and what is evil. They will more likely to be a good citizen than before.

TOEFL listening discussions: How long has the young man been drinking alcohol?

[Kitosdad]

In recent years, more and more people attend college or university in China. Even someone who has already been at work for many years goes to university again. To explain this phenomenon, I think there are some major reasons which must be considered.

For most of the students, the reason why they want to go to a university is quite simple. When they attend university or college, they acquire some specific knowledge, learn skills and gain some social experience which can help them get a good job. As everyone knows, we are living in a society that is more and more competitive; it's hard to find a job(,) let alone a well-paid one. ANY company, especially A big one, is more likely to have workers who have a better educationAL background, because the well-educated workers are always working more efficiently and havE more originality. They are more professional in handling the stuff in the work, and if they are stumped by the problems occurring during the work, they are more ready to gain new knowledge to solve them. Here is an example; a computer softWARE company may only need the people who have studied in the computer science apartment, because the work is so professional(,) and people who without the specific knowledge have little chance to do it well. Even if there is someone that knows how to compel COMPILE the program, he or she may not have the spirit of corporation which is a fundamental quality built up in the college or university. When a problem occurs, the worker who has HAD a special training knows how to deal with it(.) THeY may solve THE PROBLEM /FAR QUICKER/ more quickly/ than the worker WHO learned the knowledge all by himself or herself. For that reason, we must go to university or college to get our diploma and some skills interrelateD with the work that a company may require.

While Some students, as well as their parents, FEEL it is too young for them to enter the society as soon as they graduate from high school. They are not even mature(,) and know little about the people and things in reality. They are so naive and they hardly have any social experience, and it is so easy for them to get harmed. Sometimes they are too confident or curious of the things they see and hear because of their young age, they may so easily to choose a way which has no end--they may EVEN break the laws. There are far less college students criminals than the teenagerS who dropped OUT OF school. So, it's not a bad idea for them stay in the college or university for a year or two. When they grow older, they become more sophisticated, they may THEN know how to protect themselves, how to deal with the relationship of the all sorts of people. They may be more clear of the regulationS in the society and they WILL know what conduct is good and what is evil. They will BE more likely to be a good citizen than before.
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Quite a good essay HU.

Kitos. 8.5/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Hands Up]

Hi, Kitos. Thanks very much for revising my composition. Both of my friend and I feel you are very ardent. This is my first essay and there is 51 days before my exam time. I think with the help of this excellent website and the zealous people like you, I will surmount the tofel test especially writing task for sure.

I have some questions about the use of the punctuation. I am not quite sure when to use a full stop and when a comma, sometimes I am confused whether to add a comma or not in the middle of a sentence. (like this one "They are not even mature(,) and know little about the people and things in reality.") Is there any simple rules about this? Oh, I am so happy that you scored my essay 8.5/10, but do you think my last paragraph is out of topic or weak in stringency? because a friend of mine said the passage has a problem with that.