Can somebody correct my grammar please?:)

[Kacenka87]

Hello I need to submit my translation from French to English, as I am not native speaker I cant tell if this sounds really English..can you just correct sentences which sounds odd or there is a grammar mistake? I wasnt sure what sounds better so I put in brackets options. Thank you.

Good life in London?
The majority of the French expatriates live(s) in the capital, where everything(all, anything) seems (to be) possible. But the accommodation can be very expensive.
Here, in London, the French are everywhere, in the restaurants, nightclubs, but also in (the) banks and insurance companies, without forgetting (not forgetting, not to mention) football teams and even (alike, same) the film industry.
Amelie Walker, early forties (about forty), knows London like the back of her hand. This talented and hardworking woman is a manager in a suburban company. (business, industry, firm) "Few years ago the French were rares (infrequent) in London because they did not speak the language, but they are much more numerous nowadays (today there are much more of them?).
London has completely changed during last fifteen years. Out of 400 000 French living in Great Britain, more than 200 000 live in the capital. Among (amongst) them there are a lot of expatriates whose company pay(s) the accommodation. Althoug young people (graduates or unemployed(s) ) come(s) in large numbers. Normally, for quite short period (time), between 4 months and two years. They come especially (mostly, above all) because of (the) temporary jobs which are so easy to find here.
In United Kingdom, to work (work, working) Wednesdays for one employer and evenings for the another (other) is normal in the country where one quarter of the active population work(s) part-time job(s). Therefore it is quite (absolutely) possible to do academic studies and to get the working experience at the same time. However, the French have (has) sometimes tendency to forget that the accommodation is extremely expensive. Students and bachelors are able to choose house-sharing, very popular in Great Britain, but for families the choice is often determined by the proximity (closennes, nearness) of french school, situated in the upmarket neighbourhood of (in) Kensington, where the rent is outrageous.

[Elena_Pten4ik]

Good life in London?
The majority of French expatriates lives in the capital, where everything seems possible. But the accommodation can be very expensive.
Here, in London, the French are everywhere, in restaurants, nightclubs, but also in banks and insurance companies, not to mention football teams and even the movie industry.
Amelie Walker in her early forties knows London like the back of her hand. This talented and hardworking woman is a manager in a suburban company. "Few years ago the French were not often to see in London because there were very few who spoke the language, but they are much more numerous nowadays. London has completely changed during the last fifteen years. Among 400 000 French living in Great Britain more than 200 000 live in the capital. Among them there are a lot of expatriates whose company pays for their accommodation. Althoug there are a lot of young people (graduates or unemployed(s) -it depends on what group you mean) who arrive to Great Britain. Usually for quite a short period of time, from 4 months up to 2 years. They come mostly because of temporary jobs which are so easy to find here.
For the United Kingdom it is normal for an employee to change day and evening shifts on Wednesdays, as a quarter of the active population has a part-time job. Therefore it is quite possible to do academic studies and gain the working experience at the same time. However, the French sometimes tend to forget that the accommodation is extremely expensive. Students and bachelors are able to choose house-sharing, very popular in Great Britain, but for families the choice is often determined by the proximity of the french school located in the upmarket neighbourhood of Kensington, where the rent is outrageous.

[Jemson]

Good life in London
The majority of French expatriates lives in London, the capital of United Kingdom. Here, the French are everywhere- in restaurants, nightclubs, in banks and insurance companies. Some French belongs to football teams and even the movie industry.
Amelie Walker in her early forties knows London like the back of her hand. This talented and hardworking woman is a manager in a suburban company. Few years ago, the French were not often to see in London because there were very few who spoke English, but today, their numbers increase. London has completely changed during the last years. There are about 400 000 French living in Great Britain and more than 200 000 live in the capital. Among them there are a lot of expatriates whose company pays for their accommodation. Although there are lot of young people who arrive to Great Britain for a short period of time, they become succesful in any field they want.
In United Kingdom, it is normal for an employee to change day and evening shifts on Wednesdays, as a quarter of the active population has a part-time job. Therefore, it is quite possible to do academic studies and gain the working experience at the same time. Everything seems possible but the accommodation is very expensive.
However, the French sometimes tend to forget that the accommodation is extremely expensive. Students and bachelors are able to choose house-sharing but for families the choice is often determined by the proximity of the French school located in the upmarket neighborhood of Kensington.

I HOPE THAT THIS REVISION WILL HELP YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

JEMSON LADRINGAN FERIDO
jemson19ferido@yahoo.com