 #2 (permalink) Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:48 am Money in human life |
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| Elmir050 wrote: |
According to our psychology, some people always tend to endeavour to make more and more money. Money sometimes is not everything. From my point of view, having a comfortable living condition but less profit is better than having more money but a lot of stress and anxiety. This essay will demonstrate reasons for that below.
First of all, having more money creates many problems. In my community businessmen have more money than other people. They are always in trouble because of the risk of their money. They always take a chance and they can't be sure about their money. Stress and anxiety cause some other problems in humans organism. Then they can't get their health back with their money. For example, my uncle is a businessman and he has faced some problems during his business life ,as well as with his family, because he always comes home late and doesn't spend time with his family. On the other hand, let's consider about engineers, doctors or teachers. They earn a lower salary, however, their life is always comfortable and they always have time for their families. Additionally, they can also go on vacation two or three times in a year. This was one of the reasons for my desire to become a doctor.
Furthermore, there are some people who make less effort but get a lot of profit. We can use as an example a scientist who invented new technology, medicine, etc. They make their life comfortable. In addition to that, they can also be benevolent and help poor, homeless, hungry people, with their money.
Moreover, we need to earn money to survive. A minimum wage should be guaranteed, but we shouldn't overestimate the power of greed. It can make us to use excessive effort for money and can control our lives.
All in all, money is most important, but it is not everything. Nothing can outweigh our life including money. Money should not be our main aim in life. We should spend our life to do some charity for humanity rather than make a great effort to get more and more money.
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Not bad Elmir, but it was poorly organised. Random thoughts being added in almost every sentence.
Kitos. 7.5/10
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and a professor in the professor's office |
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 Kitosdad
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| #4 (permalink) Fri Nov 05, 2010 17:05 pm Money in human life |
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"I should upload new ones."
Hopefully after you have amended them having given consideration to your reviewing this essay.
I expect only your very best work. Not just another essay.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad
Language Coach
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13417
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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