What are some of the experiences that have shaped your outlook and the way you li

[Mohammad64]

Hello sir, Thank you very much for correcting my last essay. I was wondering if you would amend this attempt.

Topic: what are some of the experiences that have shaped your outlook and the way you live now?

Every person states different experiences and turning points which have developed their viewpoints toward the life. As far as I am concerned, gaining acceptance in the university and marrying with someone with whom I was in love are events that have played decisive roles into building my perspective and the way I live now.

In the first place, taking admittance in a decent university was a really important event in my life. After this important event, I got the chance to become familiar with a lot of different clever people. Furthermore, I experienced being far from my family on which I was really dependent. As a corollary to this, I learned how to live by myself and cope independently with the thorny problems which I faced into in the university . For example, I learned how to wash my clothes, cook food and etc. Additionally, I learned how to resolve my dispute with people who are around me.

In the second place, in university, I had the chance to fall in love with a girl who I used to see in my dreams. I moved heaven and Earth to gain her attention and I really did. After a period of courtship, we married and started our common lives. However, after some time, I realized that I made a big mistake. The girl that I had fallen in love with was not the person that I used to see in university. She was really grouchy and sometimes she enjoyed hitting club at my head. Due to this situation, we got divorce. However, for getting divorce I had to pay a lot of money. Now, I really regret why I decided to marry her hurriedly without any recognition of her real character. From divorce date on, I think my decisions through.

To put all in a nutshell, entering the university and falling in love are two major events in my life which changed my attitude toward life.

TOEFL listening lectures: What aspect of Carl Sandburg's life does the professor mainly discuss?
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If you need help, on a windy night, be sure to leave a candle burning so a friend can see the light.

[Kitosdad]

Hello sir, Thank you very much for correcting my last essay. I was wondering if you would amend this attempt.

Topic: what are some of the experiences that have shaped your outlook and the way you live now?

Every person remembers different experiences and turning points which have developed their viewpoints toward life. As far as I am concerned, gaining acceptance into the university and marrying the person with whom I was in love are events that have played decisive roles into building my perspective and the way I live now.

In the first place, gaining admittance into a decent university was a really important event in my life. After this important event, I founf I was able to become familiar with a lot of different, clever people. Furthermore, I experienced for the first time, being far from my family in/on whom I was really dependent. As a corollary to this, I learned how to live by myself and cope independently with the thorny problems which I faced in the university. For example, I learned how to wash my clothes and cook food, amongst many other problems that a person living alone has to face. Additionally, I learned how to resolve my disputes with people who were around me.

In the second place, in university, I had the chance to fall in love with a girl who I used to see in my dreams. I moved heaven and Earth to gain her attention and I really did. After a period of courtship, we married and started our lives together. However, after some time, I realized that I had made a big mistake. The girl that I had fallen in love with was not the person that I used to see in university. She was really grouchy, and sometimes she enjoyed hitting me on the head. Due to this intolerable situation, we eventually became divorced. However, to obtain my divorce, I had to pay a lot of money. Now, I really regret deciding to marry her so hurriedly, without any recognition as to her real character. From that day on, I now think my decisions through more cautiously.

To put all in a nutshell, entering the university and falling in love are two major events in my life which changed my attitude toward life.
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You write so well, and so revealingly Mohammad. Thank you for sharing this traumatic period in your life.

Kitos. 8.5/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Mohammad64]

Thank you very much sir, but do not forget that I have become a liar since I started to write my essays within 30 minutes. I was a good person, TOEFL made me a liar.:)
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If you need help, on a windy night, be sure to leave a candle burning so a friend can see the light.

[Mohammad64]

I am worse at my writing day after day. Anyway, I am catching Leenda up. :)

Every person states (remembers)different experiences and turning points which have developed their viewpoints toward the life. As far as I am concerned, gaining acceptance in (into"repeated mistake") the university and marrying with someone with whom I was in love are events that have played decisive roles into building my perspective and the way I live now.

In the first place, taking admittance in (into "oh,my god,repeated mistake") a decent university was a really important event in my life. After this important event, I got the chance(found I was able) to become familiar with a lot of different(,) clever people. Furthermore, I experienced (for the first time,) being far from my family on/in which (whom)I was really dependent. As a corollary to this, I learned how to live by myself and cope independently with the thorny problems which I faced into in the university . For example, I learned how to wash my clothes, cook food and etc(amongst many other problems that a person living alone has to face). Additionally, I learned how to resolve my disputeS with people who are around me.

In the second place, in university, I had the chance to fall in love with a girl who I used to see in my dreams. I moved heaven and Earth to gain her attention and I really did. After a period of courtship, we married and started our common lives (together). However, after some time, I realized that I made a big mistake. The girl that I had fallen in love with was not the person that I used to see in university. She was really grouchy and sometimes she enjoyed hitting club at my(me on) head. Due to this (intolerable) situation, we got(became) divorceD. However, for getting(to obtain my) divorce I had to pay a lot of money. Now, I really regret why I decided(deciding) to marry her (so) hurriedly without any recognition of(as to) her real character. From divorce date(that day) on, I think my decisions through (more cautiously).

To put all in a nutshell, entering the university and falling in love are two major events in my life which changed my attitude toward life.
_________________
If you need help, on a windy night, be sure to leave a candle burning so a friend can see the light.