 #2 (permalink) Thu Mar 02, 2006 11:23 am TOEFL essay sample |
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Hi superjane,
I have added some comments in capital letters:
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Not only students should be those that are evaluated at schools teachers should be, too. (YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE ORDER OF WORDS IF YOU BEGIN A SENTENCE WITH NOT ONLT NOT ONLY SHOULD STUDENTS BE EVALUATED ...)
One reason for the need to evaluate teachers as well is that it most probably will increase the academic quality of the school as the strengths and weaknesses of each teacher would be analyzed. Moreover, this would make students more eager to study and it would be easier for teachers to work with students.
Another reason of (FOR) this is that students will study how to be objective (ADD: WHEN) evaluating others, (NEW SENTENCE: THIS COULD BE JUST ANOTHER ASPECT TO THEIR STUDIES) this could be just another aspect of studies.
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This is quite good but perhaps a little too short.
Alan
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English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story A funny thing happened... |
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Alan
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Joined: 27 Sep 2003
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Location: UK
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