#1 (permalink) Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:58 am Please grade my argument essay. |
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please grade my argument essay.
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"Five years ago, we residents of Morganton voted to keep the publicly owned piece of land known as Scott Woods in a natural, undeveloped state. Our thinking was that, if no shopping centers or houses were built there, Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as a natural parkland. But now that our town planning committee wants to purchase the land and build a school there, we should reconsider this issue. If the land becomes a school site, no shopping centers or houses can be built there, and substantial acreage would probably be devoted to athletic fields. There would be no better use of land in our community than this, since a large majority of our children participate in sports, and Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as natural parkland."
My view is --------- The author claims that the civillians voted five years ago to preserve the publicily owned piece of land called "Scott Woods" was a good decision as in the form of natural, undeveloped state. This gave no room for building the shopping center. According their thinking, if the shopping center was built then the natural habitat would lose its parkland charm. However, there seems to be no basis for this as only the author is stressing on this point. There is no record of other civillian's opinion about this.
Now after the planning committee's decision of building the school makes the people rethink about their previous decsion of the Scott Woods. However, there is no survey data that informs about people's opinion. Also the new decison makes the folks to under estimate their old decision. In addtion to this, there is no information about the how the new school would help the residents or children.
Here the designing of the school is not considered, hence there may not be any athletic fields included in the design. The assumption of considering the field may not be accurate as there is no inforamtion about it. Also the committee never canvased about the utilization of the parkland. Furthermore, the size of Scott Woods has never been mentioned.
Let's assume that the school is built with an athletic feild, but children may not fully take the advantage of it.There may be many other schools in the town and people may be reluctant to send thier children to the newly built school as they not be aware of this construction. Moreover, the location of the school, the standard of education also determines a lot about the enrollment of children to this school. If there are few children then the Scott Woods may not be completed used. Hence the author's argument is totally baseless.
To make this argument persuasive, the author should include all the civillian's opinion, adverstise the town planning committee's decision, survey of area of Scott Woods with its location and lastly how this would benefit the residents of Morganton.
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Smarty001 I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 04 Feb 2010 Posts: 183
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