#2 (permalink) Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:43 am TOEFL Essay: We all work in our jobs with many different... |
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Hi NITIN ASOKAN,
I've made a few suggestions in capital letters:
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The primary reason why all parents want to give their children A good education is to secure a good future for their children. Very often a good future necessarily requires a good job.It is for this job and career that all young children strive right from their time of birth to aCquire THE maximum knowledge that they can. We eventually get the fruit for OF the strenous hard work we have put in for many years by getting placed in a lucrative and satisfactory job.
At our work places, not very often will we be a solitary employee as the success of an industry or firm largely depends on team work and collective responsibility. Moreover man is a social animal and requires effective communication with others to look after his needs. During working hours we spend long hours with co-workers, team mates, superiors, assistants and clients.
For a satisfactory and successful working experience it is absolutely essential for us to have A good rapport with all our co-workers.Each individual is obvioulsy unique and will have different expectations from their co-workers.I am no differEnt.There are certain basic and important characteristics that i will (I WOULD) expect my co-worker to possess.
Firstly, I require my co-workers to be very honest and loyal to each other. I strongly believe there is no room for dishonesty and suspiciousness in a working atmosphere. Only then can we be efficient and effective. The reason why I think honesty is a prime requsite is because of my past experineces of working with various teams during my schooling. I always found it easier and enjoyable to approach and finish the task with a group of honest and faithfull (FAITHFUL - I THINK LOYAL IS BETTER HERE) team mates.
Secondly, I would like my co-workers to be dedicated.Only when one is (YOU ARE) dedicated and committed to (YOUR) his work, he will (WILL YOU) be successfull (SUCCESSFUL) in (YOUR)his task. Even a single non committed member in a team can jeopardise the success of an entire unit.
Thirdly, I would prefer that all the members of the team have (HAD) a healthy spirit of competetion (COMPETITION). We are living in a time where competition has reached the (ITS) peak.Good competItion will enable us to analyze ourselves from time to time and redirect ourselves to the right path.
Lastly, I will (WOULD) expect my co-workers to be good critics. Only with good natured criticism will we be able to identify our own mistakes and rectify them. This is a very important character (CHARACTERISTIC) that all of us must possess. |
This is a good piece of writing that shows a competent knowledge of the language. Always check spelling after you've written your essay. If you like you can see a piece I've written on the articles (a/an/the) which is on this site in the index under the heading esl lessons.
Well done
Alan _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Present Simple |
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Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 13887 Location: UK
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