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Please Evaluate This ToeflŪ Essay: The most interesting...



 
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Please Evaluate This Toefl Essay: The most interesting... #1 (permalink) Fri Mar 03, 2006 19:37 pm   Please Evaluate This Toefl Essay: The most interesting...
 

The most interesting and enjoyable class i have ever taken were Karate Classes. I learned the basic movement patterns in Tai-Kwon-Do. Being a martial art it sooths the mind and soul while practicing it. In addition, it was also a proper physical work out, which does not tire you, rather energizes you. When done properly, it relieves all stress and regenerates the body with fresh new energy.

I particularly enjoyed this martial art class because; my other courses were very stressful and required a lot of work during the day. A good evening practice session of tai-kwon-do enabled me to concentrate on any work I did in the late evenings, with efficiency and perfection. Moreover I felt that during my practice sessions, I had a natural flair for the art and got it with ease, which just made it more enjoyable. I have attended certain tournaments to show-case my novice talents in the art and have also won several medals.

I feel that some form of martial art should compliment any individual's normal working habits. It not only transforms a person into being more efficient but also develops himher socially. Thus the martial art classes I have attended have been a great contribution to my overall development and I recommend it to all.
niranjan
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Please Evaluate This Toefl Essay: The most interesting... #2 (permalink) Sat Mar 04, 2006 14:49 pm   Please Evaluate This Toefl Essay: The most interesting...
 

Hi niranjan,

I have made some comments/changes in capital letters:

Quote:
The most interesting and enjoyable classES i (ALWAYS A CAPITAL LETTER I) have ever taken were Karate Classes. I learned the basic movement patterns in Tai-Kwon-Do. Being (AS IT IS ) a martial art it soothEs the mind and soul while (YOU ARE) practicing (YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHETHER YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE IN BRITISH/ENGLISH OR AMERICAN ENGLISH- PRACTISING IS B/ENG AND PRACTICING IS AM/ENG) it. In addition, it was also a proper physical work out, which does not tire you, BUT rather IT energizes you. When done properly, it relieves all stress and regenerates the body with fresh new energy.

I particularly enjoyed this martial art class because; (NO SEMI COLON NEEDED HERE) my other courses were very stressful and required a lot of work during the day. A good evening practice session of tai-kwon-do enabled me to concentrate on any work I did in the late evenings (LATE IN THE EVENING), with efficiency and perfection. Moreover I felt that during my practice sessions, I had a natural flair for the art and got (DID) it with ease, which just made it more enjoyable. I have attended certain tournaments to show-case my novice talents in the art and have also won several medals.

I feel that some form of martial art should compliment (COMPLEMEMNT - MEANS ADD TO/ COMPLIMENT MEANS TO PRAISE) any individual's normal working habits. It not only transforms a person into being more efficient but also develops himher (BETTER TO USE THEM ) socially. Thus the martial art classes I have attended have been a great contribution to my overall development and I recommend it (THIS ACTIVITY) to all. (EVERYONE)



This is quite a good piece of writing and you show a sound knowledge of the language.

Alan
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