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Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you



 
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Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you #1 (permalink) Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:04 am   Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you
 

Dear Mr. Kitos, please, check this one.

Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.


A place where a child grows up is very important as it might have a great influence on his life when he become older. Some people would agree that growing up in a countryside might be better for children as it is much healthier: the air is clean and the food is fresh. However I think it is better for a child to grow up in a big city as it makes him more confident person and provides him with better education.

First of all living in a big city make a child more socialized. Living in a countryside a child may not have a chance to communicate too much with other children. As a result he might become isolated, feel lonely and have troubles communicating with others. For example when I was in the University I had a classmate who grew up in a countryside. She was a very quiet person and had more troubles while communicating with others then any of my friends who grew up in a big city. The lack of confidence resulted in worse marks as she also had troubles communicating with teachers. So if you a child grow up in a countryside he might become less confident which may make it harder for him to live and succeed in a big city if he decides to move to the city when he become older.

Secondly, in a countryside a child do not really have a chance to get a good education. All qualified teachers and professors live and work in big cities because of better prospectives and job opportunities. If a child grow up in a countryside he might never be able to get a good education and thus he will have less chances to get a qualified job in future. For example I have got a friend who grew up in the countryside and moved to Kiev after graduating from a countryside University. He had to enter University again because nobody was willing to accept her diploma. Good education may provide a person with a good qualified job which is very important for personal development of any person.

To sum up I should say I think that it is better for a child to grow up in a big city. First, he socializes better in a big city. Second, it gives him an opportunity to get a good education and a good job in future.

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IZoia
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 24 Nov 2010
Posts: 33
Location: Kiev, Ukraine

Re: Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do #2 (permalink) Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:30 am   Re: Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do
 

IZoia wrote:
Dear Mr. Kitos, please, check this one.

Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.


A place where a child grows up is very important as it might have a great influence on it when it becomes older. Some people would agree that growing up in the countryside might be better for children as it is much healthier: the air is clean and the food is fresh. However I think it is better for a child to grow up in a big city as it makes it a more confident person and provides it with better education. ( I hope you recognise the significance of the underlining.)

First of all living in a big city make a child more socialized. Living in the countryside a child may not have a chance to communicate too much with other children. As a result they might become isolated, feel lonely and have troubles communicating with others. For example when I was in University I had a classmate who had grown up in the countryside. She was a very quiet person and had more trouble in communicating with others than any of my friends who had grown up in a big city. Her lack of confidence resulted in worse marks as she also had troubles communicating with teachers. So, if you a child grows up in the countryside they might become less confident which may make it harder for them to live and succeed in a big city if they decide to move to the city when they become older.

Secondly, in a countryside a child does not really have a chance to get a good education. All qualified teachers and professors live and work in big cities because of better prospectives and job opportunities. If a child grows up in the countryside he might never be able to get a good education and thus he will have less chances to get a qualified job in future. For example I have a friend who grew up in the countryside and moved to Kiev after graduating from a countryside University. He had to enter University again because nobody was willing to accept HIS diploma. Good education may provide a person with a good qualified job which is very important for personal development of any person.

To sum up I should say I think that it is better for a child to grow up in a big city. First, he socializes better in a big city. Second, it gives him an opportunity to get a good education and a good job in future.
......................................................................................................................
Not bad IZoia. It is better to specify a gender at the beginning of your work, otherwise "a child" is automatically titled "it."

Kitos. 8/10

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Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you #3 (permalink) Tue Nov 30, 2010 14:31 pm   Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you
 

Thank you, Mr. Kitos! I reviewed it carefully. The only thing I can hardy understand is why was "he" turned into "they". And also why do I have to use past perfect when I mention my classmate (I had a classmate who had grown up in the countryside) instead of past simple? It's a minor issue, so if you do not really have time or interest to answer please don't.
IZoia
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 24 Nov 2010
Posts: 33
Location: Kiev, Ukraine

Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you #4 (permalink) Tue Nov 30, 2010 17:37 pm   Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you
 

As I said earlier, it is wise to state a gender at the very beginning of an essay of this type, otherwise the "person" becomes he/she throughout your essay.

I changed have to had simply to keep the sentence in the same tense. It does not imply that you no longer have that friend,
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Kitosdad
Language Coach


Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13510
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)

Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you #5 (permalink) Tue Nov 30, 2010 22:24 pm   Itís better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you
 

I got it! Thanks!
IZoia
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 24 Nov 2010
Posts: 33
Location: Kiev, Ukraine

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