international music and traditional music

[NguyenTrg]

Good evening Teacher Kitos. Can you check this essay for me?. I am really hopeless at completing it. It seems to be not good enough.
Thank you

There are many different types of music in the world today. Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?


Nowadays, many youth tend to keen on foreign music and ignore the traditional music of their own countries. Nevertheless, because these kinds of music are all important to us, I believe that we had better pay attention to both.

On the one hand, international music helps us well understand the outside world. These songs perfectly reflect the diverse cultures of many countries, which open our views to new horizon. This complements our background knowledge about the world around. Through the music trends, we keep abreast of attitudes, tastes, etc of general public in order to fit in our surrounding community. International music is similar to a source of information, through which we can keep pace with the changes of society, then make use of it to better our own music. Otherwise, if not knowing what is going on around us, we will gradually lag behind the whole society.

On the other hand, traditional music is national heritage, which is worthwhile being respected and preserved. They have been passed on from generations to generations for thousand years, retaining the quintessence of every nation. Whether or not a country is put on the map is partly depended on these traditional values. Traditional music brings with it the pride of the entire country. Having a good understanding about it, we are ourselves showing respect for what our forefathers had devotedly built up for the next generations. In this way, we also make contribution to popularize our countries image to friends all over the world.

In a word, many youngsters these day are running after what is in fashion, which is good for our knowledge in some ways. However, never can we be allowed to forget our origins. Welcoming international music and valuing traditional music is a useful way to get the best of both worlds.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a bookstore sales clerk and a student
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I'll be back. I'll miss you guys so much... See you soon...

[Kitosdad]

[NguyenTrg]

Thank you Teacher,

Nowadays, many [youth] (YOUNG PEOPLE) tend to (BE) keen on foreign music and ignore the traditional music of their own countries. Nevertheless, because these kinds of music are [all] important to us (ALL), I believe that we had better pay attention to both.

On the one hand, international music helps us well understand the outside world. These songs [perfectly] reflect (PERFECTLY) the diverse cultures of many countries, which open our views to new horizonS. This complements our background knowledge about the world around US. Through the music trends, we keep abreast of attitudes, tastes, etc of THE general public in order to fit in WITH our surrounding community. International music is similar to a source of information, through which we can keep pace with the changes of society, then make use of it to better our own music. Otherwise, if not knowing what is going on around us, we will gradually lag behind the whole OF society.

On the other hand, traditional music is OUR national heritage, which is worthwhile being respected and preserved. [They have been] IT HAS BEEN passed on from generation[s] to generation[s] for thousandS OF years, retaining the quintessence of every nation. Whether or not a country is put on the map is partly depended on these traditional values. Traditional music brings with it the pride of the entire country. Having a good understanding about it, we[ are] ourselves (ARE) showing respect for what our forefathers had devotedly built up for the next generations. In this way, we also make contribution to popularize our countries image to friends all over the world.

In a word, many youngsters these dayS are running after what is in fashion, which is good for our knowledge in some ways. However, never can we be allowed to forget our origins. Welcoming international music and valuing traditional music is a useful way to get the best of both worlds.
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I'll be back. I'll miss you guys so much... See you soon...