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ToeflŪ essay: In general, people are living longer now...



 
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Toefl essay: In general, people are living longer now... #1 (permalink) Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:20 am   Toefl essay: In general, people are living longer now...
 

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

A long healthy life is not coincidence. It begins with good genes, but it also depends on good habits. The development of medicine is just a minor reason why people live longer nowadays. The major reasons for this phenomenon are having a glass of wine per day instead of smoking, being socially active, and having healthy food.

First of all, it has been proved that the people who live longer do not smoke. Moreoer, they have a glass of red wine before they go to bed, and it has been proven that red wine contains a component that may prevent arterial clogging – the disease which is the cause of death for many people.

Secondly, it is important to have healthy food. This includes eating as many fruits, vegetables, and whole grains as possible, and avoiding sugar and salt. For example, vegetables consist of natural antioxidants that may help prevent cancer. Healthy food is the way get better nutrition, and there is no doubt that good nutrition makes people's health better.

Furthermore, it is also important to stay socially active when you are old. Studies suggest that socially active people are less prone to heart disease and depression. Therefore, being socially active and communicative, it is possible to make life longer and escape from terrible diseases which make many people die.

Taking into account the reasons mentioned above, it can be inferred that all the factors together makes people live longer. The development of medicine only helps, but is is not a major reason for longevity.

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Translatinga
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 04 Feb 2006
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Toefl essay: In general, people are living longer now... #2 (permalink) Wed Mar 08, 2006 19:13 pm   Toefl essay: In general, people are living longer now...
 

Hi translatinga,

I've made some changes in CAPITAL letters:


Quote:
21. In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

A long healthy life is not A coincidence. It begins with good genes, but it also depends on good habits. The development of medicine is just a minor reason why people live longer nowadays. The major reasons for this phenomenon are having a glass of wine per day instead of smoking, being socially active, and having healthy food.

First of all, it has been proved that the people who live longer do not smoke. Moreoer, they have a glass of red wine before they go to bed, and it has been proven that red wine contains a component that may prevent arterial clogging – the disease which is the cause of death for many people.

Secondly, it is important to have healthy food. This includes eating as many fruits, vegetables, and whole grains as possible, and avoiding sugar and salt. For example, vegetables consist of natural antioxidants that may help prevent cancer. Healthy food is the way TO get better nutrition, and there is no doubt that good nutrition makes people's health better.

Furthermore, it is also important to stay socially active when you are old. Studies suggest that socially active people are less prone to heart disease and depression. Therefore, being socially active and communicative, it is possible to make life longer and escape from terrible diseases which make many people die. (WHICH MANY PEOPLE DIE FROM).

(IF YOU TAKE INTO ACCOUNT) Taking into account the reasons mentioned above, it can be inferred (YOU CAN DEDUCE THAT) that all the factors together makes (MAKE) people live longer. The development of medicine only helps, but is is not a major reason for longevity.



A very good piece of writing.

Alan
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