It’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and mu

[Lunzhang]

Merry Christmas and happy new year, professor. Since you have modifIied 2 essays for me, I really apreciate your work. Thank you！

Essay:

These days, people remain divided over the question whether it is more important for the government to build art museums and music performance than to recreational facilities. In my opinion, both aspects are worth equal attention and input.

The government has many areas to spend money on. Although it seems that the economy is always the issue that the government most concerns about, the cultural undertaking has never been left out. Owing to the great value of cultural and recreational industry, immediate or potential, for economy, no government can afford to take the responsibility of not taking it seriously.

To start with, art and music are of great significance. If more art museums and performance centers are to be built, citizens will have more access to get in touch with the fields of art and music, thereby learn more about it. Knowledge of art and art history can effectively elevate people’s cultural awareness. Especially for children, it is reported that the more often the young children go to places related to culture and art, like museums, the more the children are willing to learn and open-minded. Also, building art museums and music performance center is necessary since it is an effective way to record the ethnic culture and history and to deliver and spread information among public. What is more, tourism may be promoted in this way because people usually have interest in exotic and unfamiliar culture, which may lead to the economic advantages. Anyway, the value and beauty in art and music is undeniable and important that the government cannot ignore it.

On the other hand, building recreational facilities is an equally crucial duty of the government. For one thing, it is most closely related to people’s daily life. In other words, people use recreational facilities most often. For instance, in a community, little children needs safe lanes to learn to ride bicycle, young people want easy access to working out, and the retired require certain places to hang out with old friends. For another, it is replaceable because it affects people’s work and study through changing their life style. Recreational facilities provide ways for people to relax and refresh themselves, which is of great importance in today’s society of intense competition. Recreation release stress and pressure well so that people can start new work with positive attitudes towards life. In addition, I believe beneficial recreation can reduce the criminal rate.

To sum up, due to what has been mentioned above, we can safely reach the conclusion that it is of equal significance for government to spend money on art museums and music performance center and recreational facilities.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention the weather at the beginning of his lecture?

[Kitosdad]

[Lunzhang]

Hi,Kidtos! Thank you for modifying my essays.

Before you revised this essay, I thought it was a little better than what I have written before, haha~~(embarrassed) Because I tried something new on the way I wrtie.
I used to write an essay focusing on only one side. Because it's easier and more time saving. But this time, I tried to write on both sides and make a relatively sound conclusion, which is unfamiliar to me but fun to try. How do you like these two ways of writing?

I've got four straight 8.5 from you and I sort of feel stuck. Could you do me more favor and give me some specific advice?