Mothers and juvenile delinquency

[NguyenTrg]

Thanks very much for checking my essay. Wish you a Happy New Year. :)

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. Do you agree or disagree?
( a rewritten essay :) )

The last twenty years have seen the significant change in the position of women in society. Many people therefore blame women for problems caused by young people. Personally, I agree that women’s taking part in social activities is one of the main reasons for this phenomenon, but still there are some obvious causes accounting for it as well.

Actually, women take the primary responsibility in the upbringing of their children. Mothers, by nature, are often closer and more intimate with children than anyone else, even Fathers. Not only do they take care of children’s health, but they also form good personalities in children. Whenever children run into troubles, Mothers are the ones they first think of, no matter what problems are, from studying to friendship fallouts or trivial matters in daily life and the like. In short, the essence of a Mother to her children is indispensable. That is why when Mothers set aside more time for social activities, children will be more or less badly affected. The amount of time they spend on looking after children gradually goes down as a consequence, and they hardly have any time left to care about schooldays of children or simply tell them bedtime stories as they should do. What is worse, Mothers are prone to getting angry with children after a stressful day at work, which easily hurts children’s feelings. All these things do contribute to make Mothers and children grow away from each other. The fact that children feel depressed or act out in bad manners is unavoidable.

Nonetheless, the importance of Mothers does not mean that Mothers are the only one to be at fault for misbehaviors of youngsters. The ever-increasing development of society partly explains for the case. Children do not always spend all day long at home with parents, they have to go to schools, hang out with friends or follow suit their buddies entering into this complicated world. The young are not mature enough to realize what is good or bad for them; or they may do but cannot resist the temptation or refrain from social vices sometimes. An excellent example is several youngsters, having caring parents with good material conditions, still commit crimes or become involved in violence, etc, which we often know through television or radio. Another reason is the egos of the young themselves. In order to show off the so-called strength or bravery, these youngsters are willing to do anything that their buddies challenge them, even using drugs. Some others, not wanting to lag behind, are ready to do bad things to fit in with their surroundings.


All things considered, although the increasing position of women in society partly results in the downfall of children, I think society and the young themselves must take responsibility for that too, rather than blaming Mothers only.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an adviser in the university's work-study program
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[Kitosdad]

[NguyenTrg]

Thanks a lot Kitos, :)

The last twenty years have seen the significant changeS in the position of women in society. Many people therefore blame women for problems caused by young people. Personally, I agree that women’s taking part in social activities is one of the main reasons for this phenomenon, but still there are some obvious causes accounting for it as well.

Actually, women take the primary responsibility in the upbringing of their children. Mothers, by nature, are often closer and more intimate with children than anyone else, even fathers. Not only do they take care of children’s health, but they also form good personalities in children. Whenever children run into troubles, mothers are the ones they first think of, no matter what problems are, from studying to friendship fallouts or trivial matters in daily life and the like. In short, the essence of a mother to her children is indispensable. That is why when mothers set aside more time for social activities, children will be more or less badly affected. The amount of time they spend on looking after children gradually [goes down] DIMINISHES as a consequence, and they hardly have any time left to care about school-days of children or simply tell TO them bedtime stories as they should do. What is worse, Mothers are prone to getting angry with children after a stressful day at work, which easily hurts children’s feelings. All these things do contribute to make Mothers and children grow away from each other. The fact that children feel depressed or act out in bad manners is unavoidable.

Nonetheless, the importance of mothers does not mean that [Mothers] THEY are the only one to be at fault for THE misbehaviors of youngsters. The ever-increasing development of society partly explains for the case. Children do not always spend all day long at home with parents, they have to go to schools, hang out with friends or follow suit WITH their buddies entering into this complicated world. The young are not mature enough to realize what is good or bad for them; or they may do(,) but cannot resist the temptation or refrain from social vices sometimes. An excellent example is several youngsters, having caring parents with good material conditions, still commit crimes or become involved in violence, etc, which we often know through television or radio. Another reason is the egos of the young themselves. In order to show off theIR so-called strength or bravery, these youngsters are willing to do anything that their buddies challenge them, even RESORTING TO using drugs. Some others, not wanting to lag behind, are ready to do bad things to fit in with their surroundings.

All things considered, although the increasing position of women in society partly results in the downfall of children, I think society and the young themselves must take responsibility for that too, rather than blaming Mothers only
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I'll be back. I'll miss you guys so much... See you soon...