| Integrated writing | My TOEFLŪ score |
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 #1 (permalink) Sun Jan 02, 2011 18:12 pm Disadvantages of buying cars for enviroment |
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As countries develop, more and more people buy their own cars. Does the advantages of this for individuals outweigh the disadvantage for the enviroment?
Some people think that having their own cars shows their wealth and social positions. However, the more cars are bought, the more enviroment is polluted. In my opinion, the disadvantages for enviroment are need to calcucated when we want to buy new cars.
On one hand, the advantages of having own cars are undeniable. Firstly, it is so convinent and comfortable for us when driving our own cars, instead of waiting many hours in the long quence of people at bus shelters or train stations. Secondly, cars are considered as the measurement of the wealth of one person. Only by employing a luxury car do you are respected by all people around. Morever, the more luxury is your car, the more respect you receive. That is the reason why there are more and more people spending a huge amount of money that they have been working hard for many years to buy their own car.
On the other hand, there are alot of disadvantages of purchasing new cars. Cars employ a huge mount of energy. According to studies, the significant increase of cars using in some big city of China effects the demand of oil imported into the biggest country in the world , and in turn, the oil price soars dramatically, while the supply of oil will end in some decades. Besides, due to a great amount of cars used, the traffic in many developing countries are exacerbated. Equally important, according to another study, 50% the pollution of enviroment derives from the gas released by cars. That is to say, cars is one of the most important curpits of enviromental pollution.
All in all, not only is having own cars very useful for each person, but it also have bad impact on our living enviroment in general. Therefore, we need to consider all of advantages and disadvantages when buying a new car.
TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Physics |
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Huongcx
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Posts: 11
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| #2 (permalink) Sun Jan 02, 2011 18:46 pm Re: Disadvantages of buying cars for enviroment |
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| Huongcx wrote: |
As countries develop, more and more people buy their own cars. Does the advantages of this for individuals outweigh the disadvantage for the enviroment?
Some people think that having their own cars shows their wealth and social positions. However, the more cars are bought, the more enviroment is polluted. In my opinion, the disadvantages for enviroment are need to calcucated when we want to buy new cars.
On one hand, the advantages of having own cars are undeniable. Firstly, it is so convinent and comfortable for us when driving our own cars, instead of waiting many hours in the long quence of people at bus shelters or train stations. Secondly, cars are considered as the measurement of the wealth of one person. Only by employing a luxury car do you are respected by all people around. Morever, the more luxury is your car, the more respect you receive. That is the reason why there are more and more people spending a huge amount of money that they have been working hard for many years to buy their own car.
On the other hand, there are alot of disadvantages of purchasing new cars. Cars employ a huge mount of energy. According to studies, the significant increase of cars using in some big city of China effects the demand of oil imported into the biggest country in the world , and in turn, the oil price soars dramatically, while the supply of oil will end in some decades. Besides, due to a great amount of cars used, the traffic in many developing countries are exacerbated. Equally important, according to another study, 50% the pollution of enviroment derives from the gas released by cars. That is to say, cars is one of the most important curpits of enviromental pollution.
All in all, not only is having own cars very useful for each person, but it also have bad impact on our living enviroment in general. Therefore, we need to consider all of advantages and disadvantages when buying a new car.
.............................................................................................................................Not too bad, but it would be appreciated if you were to buy a dictionary before you write your next essay.
Kitos. 6.5/10
I am really hoping to see an improvement in the work of you all this New Year. You still have a limit of two essays a day, but if you feel you need to write only one per day to show an improvement, so much the better. The vast majority have it within them to write really good essays about their topics. Take your time. Think what you want to say. Think about how you intend to say it, then review it in your mind once more before beginning to write.
Scores will be more stringently applied this year. Poor work will be scored as low as six.
If you get nine, which is going to be really difficult, make sure you write even better in your next essay. Your goal is TEN, always strive for it. It is achievable, and all of you have the ability to achieve it.
Remember what I have said repeatedly ... reading is your way forward.
If anyone submits a second essay without awaiting the edit of the first, then both essays will be ignored. All corrections will be done so that you can easily find them by reviewing the edit. You don't have to rewrite your work, just make sure that you don't repeat the same mistake again.
If you still have not mastered punctuation, then spend an hour or so in doing so. It isn't brain surgery ... just do it!
Topic titles should be checked for correctness. Posts without topic titles will also be ignored.
TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Physics |
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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 Kitosdad
Language Coach
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13417
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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| #3 (permalink) Mon Jan 03, 2011 4:00 am Disadvantages of buying cars for enviroment |
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Thank you very much. Can you underline my mistakes in my essay? I will try my best in this New year.
Happy new year^^ |
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Huongcx
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Posts: 11
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| #4 (permalink) Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:04 am Disadvantages of buying cars for enviroment |
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Your problems are in your sentence structure rather than errors in vocabulary. Like many others here you are a poor reader, and therefore a poor writer. You will find improvement only by your reading more. You have ideas, you have good vocabulary, but you write poorly because you have spent too long learning vocabulary and not enough time writing. I am sure that you are going to do very well in our Forum. We have every facility here to help you to develop into the good writer I am sure you are capable of becoming.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad
Language Coach
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13417
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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| #5 (permalink) Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:18 am Disadvantages of buying cars for enviroment |
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Hi Huong, you can read many stories by Kitos in "Speaking, listening, pronunciation..." thread. This can help you a lot. Believe me, I tell you from my own experience. His writing-style is, yes, as he said, simple, but really really nice. You can feel the beauty of English language in every story he wrote. That's the way I do. I assure you that these stories not only help you with your writing skills but also amaze you. Just read and enjoy friend ^^
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I'll be back. I'll miss you guys so much... See you soon... |
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NguyenTrg
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 24 Nov 2010
Posts: 414
Location: Vietnam
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| #6 (permalink) Wed Jan 05, 2011 4:46 am Disadvantages of buying cars for enviroment |
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| Thank you very much ^^ |
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Huongcx
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Posts: 11
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| Integrated writing | My TOEFLŪ score |
