 #2 (permalink) Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:40 am Re: Young people now enjoy their life better than the old generation |
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| Channelee wrote: |
Good morning, Kitos. Thanks so much for reviewing my essay.
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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people now enjoy their life better than the oldER generation.
Generation gap is a recent word, which is coined to portray the difference between the young generation and the older generation. It is a big difference that the youngsters enjoy their life much better than their parents.
One reason is that the youths’ requirements of material life are much greater than that of the oldER generation. Thanks to the development of technology and economy, currently, our society is in unparalleled prosperous, and replete with a large quantity of merchandize to cater for people’s needs in various aspects. As long as the youths were born, they are surrounded by such a rich material life, not to mention concern about food shortage. In this context, when they grow up, they will regard pursuing a quite comfortable life as their object.
Moreover, the young people are more sensitive about the trend of fashion and new technology than their parents. They are more vigorous and more easily attracted by novelty so that they are always the targets of all kinds of new technological products and fashion merchandize. For example, in the customs of I Phone or Wii, the young people take an overwhelming portion to the old generation. Recent researches indicate that the younger people update their cell phones faster than the older people. Take my father as an example. He has already used his current cell phone for five years. Every time I mention updating his cell phone, he will say that his phone work very well, and it is unnecessary to replace it with a new one since the function of phone is just for making and accepting a call. The youths are always the avant-guards to try the cutting edge technology.
Another reason is that the youths have radically different opinions about life, comparing with the old generation. Different opinions lead to different life style. It’s widely accepted by the old generation that always prepare for a rainy day. Therefore, the older generation recognizes putting some money aside for tomorrow as a vital part in their financial plan. Conversely, the youngsters claim that life is short and they should enjoy the life and treat themselves nicely. Therefore, we can find numerous young people scorn the behavior of saving, and they don’t feel uncomfortable with the credit card debt at all. These differences result from the variant views about life.
To sum up, the young generation tends to enjoy their life better than their parents since they put the comfort of life on the top of their list.
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Although your ideas are understandable, they are poorly written Channelee. You have a good grasp of vocabulary, but a poor understanding of organising and presenting your work.This is a great topic for displaying your competence in English, but it also highlights all of your weaknesses. eg. "our society is in unparalleled prosperous,"
You need to give greater consideration to just what you intend to say. Hurriedly written random ideas make a mockery of your abilities. Slow down, concentrate, and do more reading.You are going to be good, but it will take more time and effort before you get there.
Kitos. 7/10
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 Kitosdad
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