Why do we attend school?

[Sangthang5]

People attend school for many different reasons (for example, expanded knowledge, societal awareness, and enhanced interpersonal relationships). Why do you think people decide to go to school? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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Nowadays, almost every people go to college after high school. Each person has his own reasons but in general, I think a person goes to schools for getting knowledge, building relationships and earning degree.

First, getting knowledge is the most important reason for going to a university. Even though knowledge and information now is everywhere: in the internet and the books; studying in school is still considered one of the easiest ways to avoid to be overloaded in too much information. For example, we can choose the subjects that we are interested in easily, and the teachers will help us to narrow down what we need to pay more time to study and what is not very important. One often works well in supervision.

Second, school is a wonderful place to build a network of friends in many different majors. In school, we are connected with professors, experts or successful people through taking courses and taking part in seminars. Furthermore, we can make friend with other students. There are many beautiful friendships started in the college time. We all know Bill Gates and Steve Jobs met each other at Harvard when they were students there.

Last but not least, the degree has been gotten from college is important for applying for a job. This is the basic and foremost requirement for almost every candidates applying to a normal position in a company.

In short, even though many of people believe that one can get great success without going to school, the majority still need a degree for the beginning of his career. It is a short way to be well educated, to have a wide network, and to earn a bachelor diploma. Therefore, higher education is important for not only our future job but also our academia.
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Hi Kitosdad,

I wrote this essay in 30 minutes. Please rate it. I hope it's not too bad compared with the ones written in more time.

Thank you and have a good night.

TOEFL listening discussions: Two roommates talking about fraternities

[Kitosdad]

[Sangthang5]

Thanks Kitosdad,

Can you tell me more about why I earn low score? Because of mistakes, the fourth paragraph is not completed, the organization or the using of words, or all of them?

I just want to know more about my weaknesses.

Thanks again