boys and girls should study separate schools.

[Retnokisnon]

Education is one of the most significant requirements for people. Education undoubtly constitutes the backbone of healty society. There have been many debates as to whether boys and girls should study separate schools or not. Although authorities, if not all, assert that different sexes attend to different schools, it can strongly be supported by opponents that they should study together due to psychological disorders towards the opposite sex together with gender discrimination among the society.

To commence with, psychological disorders towards the opposite sex can be regarded as the most important issue in separate schools. If a person studies separate school, he/she will unavoidably be confronted with many serious problems that are really difficult to solve. For instance, they cannot know how they talk between each other,how they make friends with each other, how they respond to some questions. As a consequence, boys and girls do not spend most of our time together and they cannot share experience and knowledge. In this regard, they may go into depression.

Secondly, apart from psychological disorders towards the opposite sex ,gender discrimination among the society is termed as the most significant matter. Some authorities assert that It is quite common for students claiming sex bias at schools. If the society ignores the gender discrimination at schools or anywhere, may emerge many detrimental problems such as psychological trauma. Should a person who has graduated a single-sex school when he/she become a boss or employer, he/she may fall in dilemma chosing the candidate.

In contrast, there are,naturally, some authorities who strongly assert that boys and girls should study separate schools. In a single-sex school with no members of the opposite sex around to impress or look good for, they can be themseves and be more focus on their work. This view may seem to be true at first glance, but there miss one significant issue: if students study different schools, perhaps some undesirable consequences will come out such as psychological disorders towards the opposite sex and gender discrimination.

All in all, the obvious conclusion to be drawn would be that Boys and girls should attend to the same schools for interactive education,because as nowadays there is no difference between boys and girls in terms of doing the same hard work and working equally.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a research professor and a student

[Retnokisnon]

good morning kitos. please help me to correct my essay.

[Kitosdad]

Education is one of the most significant requirements for people. Education undoubtEDly constitutes the backbone of A healtHy society. There have been many debates as to whether boys and girls should study IN separate schools or not. Although authorities, if not all, assert that different sexes SHOULD attend to different schools, it can strongly be supported by opponents that they should study together due to psychological disorders towards the opposite sex, together with gender discrimination among the society.

To commence with, psychological disorders towards the opposite sex can be regarded as the most important issue in separate schools. If a person studies IN A separate school, he/she will unavoidably be confronted with many serious problems that are really difficult to solve. For instance, they cannot know how they SHOULD talk between each other AND how they CAN make friends with each other, AND how they OUGHT TO respond to some questions. As a consequence, boys and girls do not spend most of our time together and they cannot share experience and knowledge. In this regard, they may go into depression.

Secondly, apart from psychological disorders towards the opposite sex, gender discrimination among the society is termed as A most significant matter. Some authorities assert that it is quite common for students claiming sex bias at schools. If the society ignores the gender discrimination at schools or anywhere, may emerge many detrimental problems such as psychological trauma. Should a person who has graduated a single-sex school when he/she becomeS a boss or employer, he/she THEY may fall inTO A dilemma choOsing the RIGHT candidate.

In contrast, there are, naturally, some authorities who strongly assert that boys and girls should study IN separate schools. In a single-sex school with no members of the opposite sex around to impress or look good for, they can be themseLves and be more focusED on their work. This view may seem to be true at first glance, but there IS missING one significant issue: if students study IN different schools, perhaps some undesirable consequences will come out EMERGE, such as psychological disorders towards the opposite sex and gender discrimination.

All in all, the obvious conclusion to be drawn would be that boys and girls should attend to the same schools for interactive education, because as nowadays there is no difference between boys and girls in terms of doing the same hard work and working equally.
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A good essay Retnokisnon. Note how he/she can be replaced by they. Also, you don't need to add "the" before society. It is, society, not "the society."

Kitos. 8/10

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a research professor and a student[/quote]
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.