CAUSES OF İNCREASİNG CRİME RATES.

[Ibra347]

In recent years, crime rates have gone up dramatically in big cities all around the world. People who have migrated from rural areas to big cities have underlied a myriad of security problems.In this respect, There are numerous reasons why individuals who migrate to big cities bring about to an increase in crime rates in terms of lack of education and changes in values.

To begin with lack of education, it can easily be asserted that in today's world, education has become an indispensible part of people' lives. There are great connections between education and crime rates. As, studies done on this issue indicate that people who are involved in illegitemate ways are generally composed of uneducated individuals. Millions of people who migrate to big cities have difficulties in finding a well-paid job and meeting their needs. Moreover, they may be deprived of receiving a good education. Because of this, they are obligated to resort to illegal ways in order to afford their expences. Eventually, lack of education constitutes a threat to society in big cities. It plays a leading role in increasing crime rates in big cities. Should the governments desire to eradicate such issue, they should create new educational opportunities for their citizens who live in big cities.

When it comes to changes in values, it is an undeniable fact that almost all social and cultural structures have undergone lots of changes in recent years. Technological, political and social developments set the stage for such changes in the world. People who migrate to big cities are also influenced these changes negatively. Because, whilst they have older and fair cultural and religious values in their hometown, they are obligated to keep up with changes when they migrated to big cities. İn this regard, corruption of cultural values emerged as an inevitable compulsion. İn big cities , personal benefits have become more important than cultural and religious values. And, individuals begin to turn a blind eye these values because of their economical interests. In brief, People who neglect their cultural and religious values are more likely to involve in criminal activities.

It can be concluded that lack of education and changes in values can be regarded as two of the major causes of increasing crime rates in big cities. As far as I am concerned, especially the governments should show great determination and take an initiative to handle the issue. İt is vital fact that the more crime rates decrease, the more peaceful cities will become.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why do the Lascaux cave paintings probably not qualify as graffiti?

[Ibra347]

please help me to check my essay..

[Ibra347]

can anybody comment my essay ?

[Leenda]

Hello Ibra. Please write the exact topic of your essay.

[Ibra347]

hi leenda, the topic is that causes of increasing crime rates. thank you

[Leenda]

In recent years, crime rates have gone up dramatically in big cities all around the world. People who migrat from rural areas to big cities VERY OFTEN underlie a myriad of security problems. In this respect/DUE TO THIS, individuals who migrate to big cities /bring about/CAUSE an increase in crime rates in terms of lack of education and changes in values.

IN THE FIRST PLACE, LACK OF EDUCATION CAN BE AN IMPORTANT FACTOR. It can be easily asserted that in today's world, education has become an indispensible part of people' lives. There are great connections between education and crime rates. BASED ON studies CONDUCTED on this issue, people who are involved in illegitImate PROGRAMS are generally uneducated. Millions of people who migrate to big cities have difficulties in finding a well-paid job and meeting their needs. Moreover, they may be deprived of receiving a good education. Because of this/DUE TO THIS/AS A RESULT/, they are obligated/OBLIGED to resort to illegal ways in order to afford their expenSes. Eventually, lack of education constitutes a threat to society in big cities. It plays a leading/CRUCIAL role in increasing crime rates in big cities. Should the governments desire to eradicate such issue, they should create new educational opportunities for their citizens who live in big cities.(you can also say: IN ORDER TO ERADICATE THIS PROBLEM, THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD CREATE NEW ......)

When it comes to changes in values, it is an undeniable fact that almost all social and cultural structures have undergone lots of changes in recent years. Technological, political, and social developments set the stage for such changes in the world. People who migrate to big cities are also influenced BY these changes negatively. Because, WHEN PEOPLE MIGRATE TO BIG CITIES, THEY HAVE TO ADAPT THEMSELVES TO NEW CULTURES AND RELIGIONS WHICH ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM THEIRS. İn this regard, corruption of cultural values emerge as an inevitable compulsion. İn big cities, personal benefits have become more important than cultural and religious values. Individuals begin to turn a blind eye TO these values because of their economical interests. In brief, people who neglect their cultural and religious values are more likely to involve in criminal activities.

It can be concluded that lack of education and changes in values can be regarded as the two major causes of increasing crime rates in big cities. As far as I am concerned, especially the governments should show great determination and take an initiative/ACTION to handle the issue. İt is vital fact that the more crime rates decrease, the more peaceful cities/SOCIETY will become.

Hello Ibra,
I tried to make some changes. I hope it will be helpful.
Please pay attention to your punctuation, and spelling.
Never use "but", "And", etc at the beginning of your sentence.
Best of Luck!

TOEFL listening lectures: Why do the Lascaux cave paintings probably not qualify as graffiti?[/quote]

[Coolapple]

Hi Leenda,
I sent a private message to you. Please help me on this!
Thanks in advance!
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