 #2 (permalink) Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:36 am Re: junk foods detrimental to health |
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| Saeede wrote: |
Here is a new topic. Please let me know your comments about my essay. Also it would be great if you share your essay as well.
Scientists have reported that junk foods are detrimental to health. Some people believe that education is the answer to this problem, but others disagree. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The consumption of fast foods has been increased around the world over last 50 years. Foods such as French fries, hamburgers and chips, which constitutes huge amount of fat and salt, are harmful for health. (If I were you, I would prefer to change these two sentences position. I would write the second one first. It seems better for me. (Just personal idea :D ) ) Some people believe that increasing the level of awareness of society about deterioration of this group of foods can decrease the consumption of them. I personally believe that affordable, convenient and attractive characteristics of junk food are dominated (dominant) and education itself cannot change people’s mind to reduce utilizing of fast foods. Two main reasons will be argued accordingly.
First of all, increasing people’s knowledge about the harms of low nutrition foods along with the probable ailments caused by them cannot prevent reducing of the consumption of such food. As the short term effects of using junk foods (according to what you've written, here must be some negative points mentioned. Because you said about short term effect, the reader in waited to hear some disadvantages of junk food. But what you've mentioned after it, is advantages of fast food)such as low price, easy access and time saving nature of junk foods pursue people to continue their nutrition habits. The long term impacts of this food especially in today’s modern life style increasing fast food restaurants and junk food production factories (I think it's better to mention some long term and negative effects, such as health problems, costs for society, etc. Increasing of such foods factories or restaurant could persuade reader that these have caused increasing of employment opportunity, so he/she will thinks that it's a great advantages of junk foods) .
Furthermore, the variety of fast foods and attractive appearance of junk foods, absorb people’s attention. Although, several TV programme and conferences have been held to discuss about substituting of rich nutrition food with junk foods in family daily food usage; on the contrary same channels broadcast attractive advertisement for junk foods.
By the way of conclusion, I reiterate my position that education merely does not afford to change society point of view regarding consuming of junk foods. To be realistic, attractive advertisements and reasonable production price of fast foods wins the competition towards long term impacts of poor nutrition value of these foods.
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You make great difference from you last essay. I hope you more success.
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Bbk_Agp
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Joined: 07 Sep 2007
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