A company in which every employee is made to feel important will run more smoothl

[Altaajp]

Dear masters, friends

Please evaluate my essay.
I am trying to practice my writing skill so i post here my practice writing.
Give me your opinions, please.

1. A company in which every employee is made to feel important will run more smoothly and experience greater success than a company that values some employees above others. Discuss.

Main asset of the organization or company is the employees work there. Without honest, experienced and knowledgable employees, it is hard to assume that the firm can be successful in today’s fierce competition of business environment. In my point of view, to make employees to be happy for working themselves, companies should valuate every employees instead of choosing only one or few of them.
To begin with, comfortable, friendly working environment motivates employees to do their job happily and successfully. Because, convenient, healthy work-surrounding makes people to feel more comfortable and motivated than working in discomfortable conditions with high salary. If man is satisfied in his conditions surrounding him, his productivity also will be high. For this reason, companies should create the pleasant environment in their office which is the one type of valuations for their employees by making them satisfied for working there.
Secondly, another way to value employees is to evaluate the employees performance honestly. It is clear that many active, efficient employees better than few experienced but lagging employees. For example, let’s assume that group of employees had been working on the project which is very important for company’s further business. To complete the project successfully, every employee have to work with high responsibility on their own duty/section. After all of their hard-working , if the employer cheers only few of them, rest of employees usually feel reluctantly. And in next task of job, many of them could be insincerity. It would make company’s productivity less prosperous.
In conclusion, to grow up prosperously in active-competitive world of business, companies should keep their employees with high satisfaction for their employers by evaluating them fairly and making them to feel motivated every day.

TOEFL listening discussions: Which best describes the student's current activity?

[Soheill]

It is in matter with managaning and this is not my proffesion or intrest.

[Beeesneees]

Then why do you feel the need to comment, Soheill? If you have no interest in the essay question please don't post comments that the essay writers might consider to be negative.
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Cheers m' dears!

[Dodgewiper]

Hello Altaajp. As a student of MBA, I must say that your essay is about OB (Organizational Behaviour) and I found it is worth reading. You can improve your essay by making it more practical, I mean you can write examples of how to make working environment more comfortable for employees. I give to your essay 8.5 from 10. (: It is necessary to say that I cancelled my MBA course because I want to go to a better city and university to study.

Hi Beees. I think It is late to say Happy New Year to you but late is better than never done.
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Man gets and forgets, God gives and forgives.

[Dodgewiper]

Please don't forget to correct my mistakes, Mrs. Beees. (:
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Man gets and forgets, God gives and forgives.