 #2 (permalink) Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:31 am Re: what does success come from? |
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| Sweetcandle wrote: |
Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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It's a human nature to seek success in every way possible. While some people try their best and(too much AND here, you should put a comma instead) make a clear plan and create a strategy to reach their goals, others may prefer to take risks and depends on their intuitions. FROM my perspective, I believe that an intellectual and careful planning is the fastest way to reach our goals and become successful.
IN FACT, planning will help you to become more ORGANIZED. Thus, organizing will help in you to focus ON your goal. You know what you want and you make a clear and clever plan to reach it. For example, if someone want to pass the TOEFL exam, all what he have to do is to draw a clear plan. He may study for six hourS a day in order to improve his skills in listening, reading, writing and speaking sections. This will guarantee his success in all the four sectionS of THE TOEFL exam. In contrast, if someone decides to take the test without enough preparation he may encounter many difficulties that will result in low scoreS.
Successful people almost always ACQUIRES a high self-confidence. A good plan, of course, will help in BUILDING the confidence gradually. Therefore, planning is like a ladder that will make the mission easier for people. You may find it difficult at first (I suggest you use AT THE BEGINNING here to avoid repetition) to take the first step and climb on a ladder, step-by-step things become easier.
To sum up, in order to be a successful person you need a strong base. Therefore, planning your way to success will guarantee that you achieve what you want in a clever and intellectual way.
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Done in 30 min :S .. I will appreciate you help in correcting my essay |
Hi Sweetcandle,
I'm not sure if I did correct all of your mistakes but I tried my best :) I have some suggestions for you. Please try to avoid repetition which I could say you did a lot in this essay. Also, I found this writing of your to be lack of persuasiveness and connections in some sentences. Please recheck it. I'm sure you WILL write better next time.
By the way, this essay is a little short in compared with the standard of the TOEFL exam.
Hope it would help.
Have a nice day!
Sincerely yours,
Giang.
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 Gianglp
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Joined: 15 Nov 2010
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| #3 (permalink) Fri Jan 21, 2011 3:51 am what does success come from? |
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Great stuff, Giang!!!^^. I am proud of you, Kito is proud of you!!!!!!. You deserve the title 'Kitos' henchman' so very much :)
Sincerely,
Your 'accessory' ;-)
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NguyenTrg
I'm here quite often ;-)
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Location: Vietnam
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