Do you like to get a job with high-salary or to get a comfortable with enough mon

[Wendynn]

Hi everybody!! I really need help to check my essay... please me!!
thank you so much!!

Many people choose different style-life, some of them like to earn a lot of money to get a high standand life, others like to live comfortable with enough money. People can be many reasons to choose in rich lives, a comfortable life with enough money is good for my life.
With a high-salary job, you can get high life quality, live in better house and bring your children learn in more prestious school. However the high paying job make you be usually absent in party with family and be hard work everyday, even in weekend. Finally in a long time you have not to met and talk to family member, one day you figure out they are strangers and you stay in relationship like being responsiblility.
In the other hand, the more money you earn, the higher duties you are. You are always busy on your business, and worried about them, it causes you feeling stress. In my view, healthy is very important, it is not meaningful when you can earn a lot of money but you don’t have enough time to enjoy. Get a job with a lower that offers you have time to take care family as well as yourself, you can participate vacations on holiday with them that make your life more interesting and almost whenever you can have meal on time.
In brief, have a lot of money is good but not all, as for me, I will be pleasured with a comfortable life with enough money because I think there are still things take care of that is more important than money. Both family and healthy is high valuable to me.

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student try to do with his next essay?

[Leenda]

Hello Wendy,
I found a lot of mistakes in your essay, such as "on the other hand", "lifestyle", "having a lot of money", etc.
I suggest you to check your essay once again so that you will be able to correct some of the silly mistakes you have made.
All the Best.

[Wendynn]

HI Leenda
thanks for your help, I try to check it again, it's possible there are some mistakes I don't consider... please help me!! thanks

Do you like to get a job with high-salary or to get a comfortable with enough money?
Many people choose different lifestyle, some of them like to earn a lot of money to get a high standard life, others like to live comfortable with enough money. People can have many reasons to choose in rich life, a comfortable life with enough money is good for my life.
With a high-salary job, you can get high life quality, live in a better house and bring your children learn in more prestious school. However the high paying job make you be usually absent in party with family and you have to be hard work everyday, even in weekend. Finally for a long time you have seldom met family member, one day you consider that they are strangers and you stay in relationship like being responsiblility.
On the other hand, the more money you earn, the higher duties you are. You are always busy on your business, and worried about them, it causes you feeling stress. In my view, healthy is very important, it is not meaningful when you can earn a lot of money but you don’t have enough time to enjoy. Get a job with a lower salary that offers you have time to take care family as well as yourself, you can participate vacations on holiday with them that make your life more interesting and almost whenever you can have meal on time.
In brief, having a lot of money is good but not all, as for me, I will be pleasured with a comfortable life with enough money because I think there are still things take care of that is more important than money. Both family and healthy is high valuable to me.

[Leenda]

[quote="Wendynn"]HI Leenda
thanks for your help, I try to check it again, it's possible there are some mistakes I don't consider... please help me!! thanks

Do you like to get a job with high-salary or to get a comfortable with enough money?

Many people choose different lifestyleS(my sentece: People have different lifestyles), some of them like to earn a lot of money to get a high standard/QUALITY life, others like to live A comfortable LIFE with ONLY enough money. THERE ARE MANY REASONS WHY A PERSON MAY CHOOSE TO HAVE A MATERLIALISTIC LIFE. HOWEVER, I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THAT MONEY CANNOT BUY EVERYTHING.

ON THE ONE HAND, with a high-salary job, you can get A high STANDARD/QUALITY life, live in a better house, and SEND your children TO prestious schoolS. However, WORKING FOR HOURS IN ORDER TO EARN HUGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY MAKES YOU BE ABSENT FROM FAMILY PARTIES. YOU NEED TO WORK EVEN ON THE WEEKEND.

On the other hand, the more money you earn, the higher duties you WILL HAVE. You are always busy WITH your business. IT CAUSES YOU TO BE ALWAYS WORRIED AND BE UNDER A LOT OF STRESS. In my view, BEING IN GOOD health is very important. HAVING A LOT OF MONEY DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE WHEN YOU HAVE NO TIME TO ENJOY. HAVING A LOWER-SALARY JOB GIVES YOU OTHER OPPORTUNITIES. FOR INSTANCE, YOU CAN SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY, OR HAVE YOUR MEALS ON TIME. LIFE CAN BE MORE INTERESTING IN THIS WAY.

In brief, having a lot of money is good but not all?, as for me, I will be MORE SATISFIED IF I HAVE A comfortable life with ONLY enough money, because I think there are still OTHER IMPORTANT things THAT I SHOULD take care of. SPENDING TIME WITH MY FAMILY AND HAVING GOOD HEALTH ARE MORE VALUABLE TO ME.

Hello Wendy,
Unfortunately, you have many grammatical mistakes. Some of your sentences are even not understandable. I tried my level best to improve your work. I hope you like it.
Please read more.
All the best!

[Remula]

[Wendynn]

thanks all!! It's bad I know but I try my best