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can someone please grade my essay? Thank you :)



 
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can someone please grade my essay? Thank you :) #1 (permalink) Sun Jan 23, 2011 15:41 pm   can someone please grade my essay? Thank you :)
 

9. Some students prefer to attend a small university. Others prefer to attend a big university. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which type of university you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

There are advantages for both small and large universities. Some students choose to attend a small university, while others like me prefer to attend a large university.

There are notable advantages of attending a small university. One advantage is that it is easier to make friends. Because the school is small, there is a high chance that you become friends with another student because you basically have seen everybody at school. Second advantage is that the class size is smaller. Because there are not many students, it is most likely that you end up with the classes that you have signed up for. Third advantage is that you have the chance to form a special bond with the professor. Because of the small class size, it makes it easier to approach the professor and get to know them better outside of their profession.

There are many advantages of a large university. One advantage is that there are more extracurricular activities when you’re at a large university. Because of the large student body, you are prone to joining clubs that serves your interest and attending events that interests you. Second advantage is that you get to meet many new friends that have the same interests as you. Because the school is so big, you have the more likely chance to find friends that have the same hobbies and interests as you which makes college life much more exciting. Third advantage is that there are more classes than small universities. When you are at a large university, you have more option to choose from the list of classes that you are particularly interested in. Small universities don’t have many class options compared to large universities.

I prefer to attend a large university because of one particular reason. I want to be involved in many extracurricular activities during my time at college.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students (1)
Dhoon824
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Joined: 23 Jan 2011
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Re: can someone please grade my essay? Thank you :) #2 (permalink) Sun Jan 23, 2011 16:27 pm   Re: can someone please grade my essay? Thank you :)
 

Dhoon824 wrote:
9. Some students prefer to attend a small university. Others prefer to attend a big university. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which type of university you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

There are advantages for both small and large universities. Some students choose to attend a small university, while others like me prefer to attend a large university. YOU SHOULD BRIEFLY LIST YOUR REASONS IN THE INTRODUCTION, THEN CLARIFY THEM.

There are notable advantages of attending a small university. One advantage is that it is easier to make friends. Because the school is small, there is a high chance that you become friends with another student(,) because you basically have seen everybody at school. Second advantage is that the class size is smaller. Because there are not many students IN THE CLASS, it is most likely that you end up with the classes that you have signed up for. Third advantage is that you have the chance to form a special bond with the professor. Because of the small class size, it makes it easier to approach the professor and get to know them better outside of their profession. TOO MANY BECAUSES, REPLACE THEM BY THEREFORE, SINCE, AS ETC.

There are many advantages of a large university. One advantage is that there are more extracurricular activities(,) when you’re at a large university. Because of the large student body, you are prone to joining clubs that serves your interest(,) and attending events that interests you. Second advantage is that you get to meet many new friends that have the same interests as you. Because the school is so big, you have the more likely chance to find friends that have the same hobbies and interests as you(,) which makes college life much more exciting. Third advantage is that there are more classes than small universities. When you are at a large university, you have more option to choose from the list of classes that you are particularly interested in. Small universities don’t have many class options compared to large universities.

I prefer to attend a large university because of one particular reason. I want to be involved in many extracurricular activities during my time at college.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students (1)


YOUR INTRODUCTION AND CONCLUSION ARE WEAK. YOU PROVIDED REASONS FOR BOTH OPINIONS, IT'S NOT OBLIGATORY, AND IF YOU WANT TO DO IT NO PROBLEM, JUST MOSTLY CONCENTRATE ON YOUR POSITION. YOU CAN DESCRIBE OPPOSITE REASONS IN ONE PARAGRAPH, BUT YOU SHOULD EXPLAIN REASONS SUPPORTING YOUR VIEW COMPHERENSIVELY. YOU SHOULD PRESENT AT LEAST 3 REASONS IN 3 PARAGRAPHS. READ OTHERS'S ESSAYS.
GOOD LUCK!
Remula
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