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Will another essay be OK?



 
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ESL Forums | Preparation for and help with the TOEFLŪ Test and essay samples collection
TOEFLŪ essay: a large shopping center may be built... | An essay on pets...

what do you think...
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Total Votes : 3

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Will another essay be OK? #1 (permalink) Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:40 am   Will another essay be OK?
 

First,I would like to ask the moderator(s) if it's ok to post essays for check up? I don't want to bother.

It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood.

It has been announced that a new movie theater is to be built in our neighborhood. In my opinion, that is certainly a good idea, and I accept it. Our community has always needed a cinema, as the one we attend now is rather far. Besides, it will contribute to the area’s appeal.

I find the prospect of having a new cinema nearby favorable, because my neighbors and I need more places for recreation. We have no places to visit at our pastime, and a movie theater will be a nice option for us to relax. In addition, we do not have a movie shop around and we have to satisfy ourselves with the vapid TV shows.

A new movie theater is certainly needed in our neighborhood as the one that we visit now is rather far. If the announced plan is realized, we will not have to travel a hundred miles in order to enjoy Hollywood productions. Furthermore, I think that the idea is good, since all my next-door people like movies.

Last, but not the least, the building of a new cinema in the area will provide our community greater appeal. The new movie theater will attract more people and perhaps we may have the opportunity to make new friends. We need more social contacts, as our neighborhood is new, and there are only few settlers.

My neighbors and I like movies. However we do not have a cinema nearby, and we have to travel a lot in order to enjoy what is on. Moreover, our community does is new and needs improvements in its appeal. All that considered, makes me infer that the building of a new movie theater will be a favorable step for all of us. Therefore I support the announced plan.

TOEFL listening lectures: What aspect of Carl Sandburg's life does the professor mainly discuss?
Nukeman
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 15 Mar 2006
Posts: 14

Will another essay be OK? #2 (permalink) Thu Mar 16, 2006 14:24 pm   Will another essay be OK?
 

Hi Nukeman,

Some remarks in capital letters:

Quote:
It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood.

It has been announced that a new movie theater is to be built in our neighborhood. In my opinion, that is certainly a good idea, and I accept it. Our community has always needed a cinema, as the one we attend now is rather far AWAY. Besides, it will contribute to the area’s appeal. (APPEAL OF THE AREA)

I find the prospect of having a new cinema nearby favorable, because my neighbors and I need more places for recreation. We have no places to visit at our pastime, (IN OUR FREE TIME) and a movie theater will be a nice option for us to relax BY. In addition, we do not have a movie shop around and we have to satisfy ourselves with the vapid TV shows.

A new movie theater is certainly needed in our neighborhood as the one that we visit now is rather far (A LONG WAY AWAY). If the announced plan is realized, we will not have to travel a hundred miles in order to enjoy Hollywood productions. Furthermore, I think that the idea is good, since all my next-door people (ALL MY IMMEDIATE NEIGHBOURS) like movies.

Last, but not the (NO 'THE') least, the building of a new cinema in the area will provide our community WITH A greater appeal. The new movie theater will attract more people and perhaps we may have the opportunity to make new friends. We need more social contacts, as our neighborhood is new, and there are only A few settlers.

My neighbors and I like movies. However we do not have a cinema nearby, and we have to travel a lot (A LONG WAY) in order to enjoy what is on. Moreover, our community does (DELETE 'DOES') is new and needs improvements in its appeal. All that considered, (CONSIDERING ALL THOSE POINTS) makes me infer (BRINGS ME TO THE CONCLUSION) that the building of a new movie theater will be a favorable step for all of us. Therefore I support the announced plan.



Well done - this is better than the last one.

Alan
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Will another essay be OK? #3 (permalink) Thu Mar 16, 2006 15:10 pm   Will another essay be OK?
 

I glad to hear that. thx Mr Alan.
Nukeman
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 15 Mar 2006
Posts: 14

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