Do the advantages of having mobile phone overweigh the disadvantages?

[Huongcx]

Mobile telephones have brought many benefits but they also had negative effects.
Do the advantages of having mobile phone overweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that mobile phones have a lot of drawback in today’s modern world. However, people in support of telophones claim that by virtue of its convenience, the existence of they is extremely essensial.
On one hand, it is undeniable that there are several obvious benefits of telephones. Firstly, telephones are very convenient and simple to use. Recent research indicated that there are more and more people using mobile phone all over the world, even the older and primary school pupils who are very difficult to use high technology. Besides, it connect people from all walks of life. Only by owning a mobile phone can you relate to your friends and your family every moment from remote area. Especially, it is absolutely useful when you fall in some dangerous situations or someone needs your help in emergencies. How can you do to escape the scare if your cars break down in a distant road at a winter night?
On the other hand, the impact has not all been positive. Mobile phones make the seperation between work and free time disappear. This mean that you bring your mobile into your vacations or your bedroom to be ready to tackle all problems in your offices all times. Besides, thieves are really susceptible to this small but worth device. They can steal very easy without the attention of the owners. A final drawback is the noise it makes in theatres, cinemas or in classes Some people do feel angry when hearing a mobile’s noise, deriving from that it disturbs their concentration. Therefore, at some universities and other public places, there is a ban on using mobile phones.
In conclusion, although mobile phones can create some problems, it goes without a saying that the benefits of they surpass all of disadvantages and they are becoming an important part in our life.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university professor and a student in the professor's office

[Elsiefan]

[Huongcx]

Elsiefan, thank you very much.
I feel so sad. Although I checked this essay many times before posting it, I didn't recognize my mistakes.
I will try my best next time. Thanks again

[Leenda]

Hello,
First of all, thanks to Elsi for correcting your essay.
I have also found a couple of weaknesses in your essay. I tried to improve them.
Please pay attention to your spelling, and sentence structure.
Good Luck.

Some people argue that mobile phones have a lot of drawbackS in today’s modern world. However, people in support of telEphones claim that by virtue of THEIR convenience, the existence of theM is extremely essenTial.

On THE one hand, it is undeniable that there are several obvious benefits of telephones. Firstly, telephones are very convenient and simple to BE use. Recent research indicateS that there are more and more people using mobile phoneS all over the world, even primary school pupils who are very difficult to use high technology??. Besides, TELEPHONES connect people from all walks of life. Only by owning a mobile phone you CAN COMMUNICATE WITH your friends and your family every moment from remote areaS. Especially, it is absolutely useful when you fall inTO some dangerous situations, or WHEN someone needs your help in AN emergencY. A mobile PHONE CAN BE PRECIOUS/ OF GREAT HELP IF your car breaks down at a winter night.

On the other hand, the impact has not been ALWAYS positive. MOBILE PHONE USERS MAY USE THE DEVICE EVERYWHERE. FOR INSTANCE, IMAGINE A PERSON WHO TAKES HIS PHONE IN PARTIES, OR ON A FAMILY VACATION. THIS CAN BE REALLY IRRITATING FOR HIS FAMILY. Besides, A MOBILE PHONE/ THIS SMALL BUT VALUABLE DEVICE IS really susceptible to THEFT. IT can BE stOLEN very easILY WITH AN OWNER’S LACK OF ATTENTION. THE final drawback is the noise it makes in theatres, cinemas or in classes. Some people do feel angry when THEY hear a mobile RINGING. IT CAN disturb their concentration. Therefore, at some universities and other public places, there is a ban on using mobile phones.

In conclusion, although mobile phones can create some problems, it goes without a saying that the benefits of theM surpass all of THE disadvantages and they are becoming an important part OF our lives.

[Huongcx]

Leenda, thank you very much to check my essay. :)