I'm new here! Sould parents give money to praise their child for high marks?

[Lesterlotte]

Help me to check this essay please, thanks a lot!
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Nearly everybody has the experiences in his childhood that his parent made a promise to give him rewards for encouragement if he could get a satisfying score in the next test. With respect to what parents should give their children as a reward, no consensus has been arrived at. From my perspective, however, parents should choose money as a reward to their children.

To begin with, children can used the money given by their parents to buy what they want. One obvious advantage to reward children in this way is that their wish can be realized as they willing. And it is a common occurrence that children dislike what their parents have bought for them, even if parents have asked for their opinions, because children's minds often change very fast. As it has been said, "Children's minds change faster than the weather." Take myself as an example, when I was in elementary school, my parents were always took money as a reward for my good grades. I spent these money on some toys and books, all of which I still preserve in my room carefully, and they are precious memories of my childhood.

In the second place, by spending the money, even using it to engage in some business, the children, who would support themselves and raise their family as adults, can develop their social knowledge and skills early that they are able to have more competitive strength than their contemporaries in the future. John Rockefeller, who founded the Standard Oil Company and was once the richest man in the USA, earned extra money by raising turkeys, selling potatoes and candy, and eventually loaning this money to neighbors when he was a just young boy. Therefore, giving children money as a reward will impulse them to make a development in their social abilities.

Finally, some children deposit their money in the bank account and when enrolling in the college, they spend this money on paying for a part of the tuition. For example, one of my friends saved up all of his money given by his parents, and when he was seventeen, there was a big sum of money in his account because he always made a good performance in his exam. One year latter, he used this money to cover his college tuition and find a part-time job to earn extra money for living. As far as I know, he didn't take out even one dime from his parents' pockets during his college year.

To sum up, I believe that parents should give their children money to praise them for high marks, because children may use money to buy what they are interested in, to practice their social abilities and to pay for the tuition. Money, which is often play an evil role in literature, if used properly, can be very helpful in child education.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class

[Elsiefan]

[Lesterlotte]

Nice to meet you too, Elsiefan, and thanks for your help and encouragement!
I will try to do better in the next essay.