#2 (permalink) Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:20 am Re: It is better to use your Knowledge and experience to solve prob. than asking |
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| TYLone wrote: |
Thank you in advance for correcting my essay!!
There are some questions on the table NOT GOOD START! whether using your own knowledge and experience to solve problems or asking other people for advice is better. I personally agree with the statement and I think it is better to use your knowledge and experience to solve problems. There are two major reasons (WHAT REASONS? LIST THEM BRIEFLY HERE - IN THE INTRODUCTION, AND THEIR NUMBER MUST BE AT LEAST 3, NOT 2!).
To begin with, you are the one who is responsible for your life. No one can sway your life, and no one will permanently be by your side. As the society is becoming egoistic, everyone only think about themselves HIMSELF and their HIS benefits. If something is not directly related to them HIM, they HE ignoreS it. At first, using your own experience and knowledge to solve problem may turn out to be failure(,) but as time goes by and you are accustomed to solving problem by yourselves, then you can easily solve your issues/PREDICAMENTS by using your knowledge and experience. For example, when I was studying abroad in America without my family, I had to figured what I courses I should take for my dream?. I asked for an advice from my friends and some teachers(,) but they made the excuse to avoid giving me an advice, so I chose the classes by myself(,) which I thought to be good for my future job. And the classes I chose to take were tuned out to be necessary courses for my major. NOT COMPLETE.After, this experience, I realized I am only responsible for my life and I can solve every problems occurring? to me by myself.
In addition, advice from others can be wrong. Like it was mentioned above, the society is becoming egoistic(,) and people do not care about other people. If they are asked to give an advice to you, it is possible that they do not think seriously and give you an advice reluctantly. In this case, listening FOLLOWING TO an from other people'S advice (,) who do not care about the consequenceS of their advice may make the problem even worseEXACERBATE THE SITUATION. For instance, my uncle needed money to pay his tuition(,) and he asked his friend what he should do. With his friend’s advice, my uncle borrowed money from the private money lender TO pay the tuition. But the interest of his debt was really expensive. So(,) he had to pay for his debts over 7 years after he got the job. In this sense, solving problem with your own knowledge and experience is better.
TOEFL listening lectures: Which aspect of bee behavior does the professor mainly discuss? |
POOR ORGANISATION! IMPROVE YOUR INTRODUCTION, REDUCE THE SIZES OF YOUR 2ND AND 3RD PARAGRAPHS, ADD ONE MORE REASON AND THE CONCLUSION! READ OTHERS'S ESSAYS AND TIPS HOW TO WRITE ESSAYS!. LOOK AT THIS LINK http://www.english-test.net/forum/ftopic71987.html#how_to_write_an_essay
GOOD LUCK! TRY AGAIN! |
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Remula I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 02 Jul 2010 Posts: 579 Location: Azerbaijan
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