TOEFL Essay: How Do Movies Or Television Influence...

[lovboy]

Essay: HOW DO MOVIES OR TELEVISION INFLUENCE PEOPLE'S BEHAVIOUR? USE REASONS AND SPECEFIC EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT YOUR ANSWER.

I strongly believe that movies and television have a great influence in people's behaviour. It is an undeniable fact that most people in the world have access to either a televison or a cinema theatre and do make use of them at a regular basis.Some of the ways in which such media can affect people are stated below.

Firstly, The main group of people who are attracted to the television and movies are the the teenagers.This is the group that is most susceptible to change.They often try to emulate what they see on screen and in order to be a hero themselves.It is not uncommon to see young people try to mimic the stunts and heroic deeds performed by their idols or role-models on screens.Sometimes, this will have a deleterious effect as young people try to display some violent and aggressive behaviour that they visualize in the screen.

Secondly, Each country or region has its own culture and it is necessary to preserve them in order to exhibit cultural diversity to the future generations.There are a lot of programs and scenes that are being broadcasted in televisions and movies that might not confirm to the mindset of the local society.But sometimes young people get influenced by these scenes.They get a false impression that they too should live their life the way people live in foreign movies.They tend to change themseves according to what they see.This might destroy the native practces and customs which is highly undesired.

Lastly, Some of the programs that appear in movies and televisions contain a lot of adult content which is inappropriate for young children.Some of these programs are broadcasted without appropriate warnings.This might pose a threat to the children.They might get attracted to such inappropriate material thereby indulge themselves in wrong practices.

These are some of the ways in which people's behaviour can be afftected by mass media such as television and movies.So there is a need to look into this matter and to obtain a suitable solutions to such problems.

[Alan]

Hi lovboy,

I have added some comments in Capital Letters:

[cooliegirly]

Well, is there a guideline or something for the scores?

This is a good essay. You are using some good words here and your grammar is a lot better than mine. Here goes the suggestions on how to make it even better:

"It is an undeniable fact that most people in the world have access to either a televison or a cinema theatre and do make use of them at a regular basis."
I don't understand how this is related to the point you're trying to make.

"Sometimes, this will have a deleterious effect as young people try to display some violent and aggressive behaviour that they visualize in the screen. "
I'm taking this as most of the time, violence on TV doesn't affect them. I think there is a better way to word this.

"This might destroy the native practces and customs which is highly undesired."
Were you trying to say that this might destroy the native practces and customs if they happen to be less practical than the exotic ones? (Anyways, at least that's better than being xenophobes, I think.)

CG