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Could you rate my essay, please.



 
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Could you rate my essay, please. #1 (permalink) Wed Feb 23, 2011 18:42 pm   Could you rate my essay, please.
 

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Hi everyone ,

I'm going to have my toefl exam on march 19th and it scares me because i'm not shure if i'm prepared enough for it.

The essay part is where i'm afraid of the most. And i also don't know if my grammer is good. So could you please rate my essay and correct my mistakes so i'll learn from it.

Thank you.

*****

“Parents are the best teachers.”

Parents are patient, they love without any expectations.They don’t want any harm to overcome their child.They could be the best teachers in the beginning. That they are able to teacht how to walk, speak and give good manners doesn’t make them the best.

They can only teach from their vieuws on life. And some can’t mannage to see it from the other side, wich shows us that parents mostly want things to happen the way it looks good from their side of vieuw.

But then again parents could help you find your way out in life. Teach you how to love, to share.They’ll support you in whatever is good for you. They’ll show you the true values of life. In this point yes parents could be the best teachers.

On the other hand, parents age and become old and reactionary on things about new lifestyles, mode and trends. There are also parents who aren’t educated and have alot of lack on knowledge. Some are selfish and don’t have any responsibilities.Those can’t teach if they don’t have anything to teach at all.

A good teacher should teach things froms different side of vieuws. People should be able to see the bad things in life aswell to get to know what is right and wrong.

At school you have different professional teachers, who are helping you with your education and friends who are helping you to develup your social life. They al have different lifestyles and vieuws. That helps and teaches you to build up your own vieuw and life. Its more democratic to have the choise about your own life between al those other differencies.

In summary I disagree with the statement “Parents are the best teachers”.We don’t get to learn al those best things from our parents only, but also from our friends, professional teachers and life itself. And its up to us to see the good things that we have been teached in life.

****

words: 330 , i just couldn't make it less.. what is the max. ?

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Harmlesssma
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Could you rate my essay, please. #2 (permalink) Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:45 pm   Could you rate my essay, please.
 

350 is max
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Could you rate my essay, please. #3 (permalink) Thu Feb 24, 2011 17:48 pm   Could you rate my essay, please.
 

I don't think ETS is setting a specific number of words you can write. In fact, in the Official TOEFL guide, they only say that if you want to get a good score, your work should be at least 300 or more.
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Could you rate my essay, please. #4 (permalink) Thu Feb 24, 2011 18:56 pm   Could you rate my essay, please.
 

Katty2010 wrote:
350 is max


Gianglp wrote:
I don't think ETS is setting a specific number of words you can write. In fact, in the Official TOEFL guide, they only say that if you want to get a good score, your work should be at least 300 or more.


Thanks, at least that's a relief. I wouldn't know how to short it down otherwise.

Can someone please check the grammer or actually the whole essay , please...

I really have to know if i'm doing it right.
Harmlesssma
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Posts: 21
Location: Turkey

Reply #5 (permalink) Thu Feb 24, 2011 22:05 pm   Reply
 

Parents are ALWAYS patient, they love US without any expectations. They don’t want any harm to overcome their child. They could be the ARE OUR best teachers THROUGHOUT OUR CHILDHOOD in SINCEthe beginning. That They are able to teacht US how to walk, speak and give good TEACH US GOOD manners BUT THAT doesn’t make them the best TEACHERS. I DISAGREE THAT OUR PARENTS ARE THE BEST TEACHERS.

FIRSTLY They can only teach from their vieuws on life. And some can’t maNage to see it from the other side, wHich shows us that parents mostly want things to happen the way it looks good from their side POINT of vieuw.

But then again parents could CAN help you find your way out in life. THAY Teach you US how to love AND share. They’ll support you in whatever is good for you. They’ll show you the true values of life. In this point yes WAY parents could be the ARE OUR best teachers.

On the other hand, parents age and become old and reactionary on things about LIKE new lifestyles, and FASHION modeS and trends. There are also parents who aren’t educated and have a lot of lack on knowledge. Some are selfish and don’t have any SHUN AWAY FROM responsibilities. ThEse KIND OF PARENTS can’t teach if they don’t have anything to teach at all.

A good teacher should teach things froms different side of POINT OF vieuws. People should be able to see the GOOD AND bad things in life aswell. to THEY SHOULD get to know LEARN what is right and wrong.

At school you have different professional teachers, who are helping you with your education and friends who are helping you to develOp your social life. They alL have different lifestyles and vieuws. That helps and teaches you US to build up your own vieuw and life. It Is more democratic to have the MAKE CLEVER choiCeS about your own life between alL those other differences.

In summary ALL IN ALL I disagree with the ABOVE statement THAT “Parents are the best teachers”. We don’t get to learn alL those best GOOD things from our parents only, but also from our friends, professional teachers and life itself. And it Is up to us to see the good things that we have been teached TAUGHT in life.

Nice Essay. I have corrected Views spelling only once, since you have made the mistake repeatedly. I hope this might help. [/s]
_________________
Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
------
Everything Is Temporary!
Katty2010
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 964
Location: GaintPeach

Re: Reply #6 (permalink) Fri Feb 25, 2011 22:55 pm   Re: Reply
 

Katty2010 wrote:
Parents are ALWAYS patient, they love US without any expectations. They don’t want any harm to overcome their child. They could be the ARE OUR best teachers THROUGHOUT OUR CHILDHOOD in SINCEthe beginning. That They are able to teacht US how to walk, speak and give good TEACH US GOOD manners BUT THAT doesn’t make them the best TEACHERS. I DISAGREE THAT OUR PARENTS ARE THE BEST TEACHERS.

FIRSTLY They can only teach from their vieuws on life. And some can’t maNage to see it from the other side, wHich shows us that parents mostly want things to happen the way it looks good from their side POINT of vieuw.

But then again parents could CAN help you find your way out in life. THAY Teach you US how to love AND share. They’ll support you in whatever is good for you. They’ll show you the true values of life. In this point yes WAY parents could be the ARE OUR best teachers.

On the other hand, parents age and become old and reactionary on things about LIKE new lifestyles, and FASHION modeS and trends. There are also parents who aren’t educated and have a lot of lack on knowledge. Some are selfish and don’t have any SHUN AWAY FROM responsibilities. ThEse KIND OF PARENTS can’t teach if they don’t have anything to teach at all.

A good teacher should teach things froms different side of POINT OF vieuws. People should be able to see the GOOD AND bad things in life aswell. to THEY SHOULD get to know LEARN what is right and wrong.

At school you have different professional teachers, who are helping you with your education and friends who are helping you to develOp your social life. They alL have different lifestyles and vieuws. That helps and teaches you US to build up your own vieuw and life. It Is more democratic to have the MAKE CLEVER choiCeS about your own life between alL those other differences.

In summary ALL IN ALL I disagree with the ABOVE statement THAT “Parents are the best teachers”. We don’t get to learn alL those best GOOD things from our parents only, but also from our friends, professional teachers and life itself. And it Is up to us to see the good things that we have been teached TAUGHT in life.

Nice Essay. I have corrected Views spelling only once, since you have made the mistake repeatedly. I hope this might help. [/s]


Thank you!
Harmlesssma
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Posts: 21
Location: Turkey

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