#2 (permalink) Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:49 am Toefl Essay: Do You Agree Or Disagree With The Following... |
|
|
Hi rajesh,
I have made some changes in capital letters:
| Quote: |
Topic: To you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
I agree that a person should never make important decisions on his own. There are many reasons for my stance on this. Basically i am a person who takes most of my decisions, either consulting my parents or my friends. It really helps in finding a better solution for difficult problems. In most cases, people are forced to take other's view point. while giving your suggestion regarding a particular problem, also we have to see to IT that, we are not thrusting our view point on others. Consulting others, is very important when you are working as a team player in a team.Because (CONTINUE AS ONE SENTENCE AFTER 'TEAM') in any team,taking THE view point of others (OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS),will (PRODUCE THE BEST ..) bring out a best solution. Also it helps in evaluating your idea. By taking other's view point (THE VIEWS OF OTHERS), we can also correct defects in our idea as found by others. This is a very good practise (PRACTICE), that helps in finding long term solutions. In issues regarding family, it is better to take other's (OTHER PEOPLE'S) advice. Because (AGAIN CONTINUE SENTENCE) a decision made by anyone, will not only affect a particular member, but the family as a whole. If we are a senior member in a family, most of the times we make decisions for others. Also it is very important (that,from who) (FROM WHOM YOU TAKE) you take sugestions. If a person suggestS you a bad idea (A BAD IDEA TO YOU), it can put (GET) you inTO trouble. In concluding my essay, i would like to state a few advantages of taking other's suggestion. If at all a decision taken by a group backfires, there will not be any blaming on individuals. The other main advantages are,it will develop our trait of tolerating (DEVELOP IN US A SPIRIT OF TOLERANCE) and nurturing other's idea. In present world, many people seem to forgot (FORGET) this quality |
You seem to be repeating the same expression. Say; other people's opinions/what other people think/the views of others/another point of view .. and so on. Remember that other is singular and so it should read others' views. Most of your essay is good but try to think of saying something in other ways rather than repeating the same thing again and again.
Alan _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Present Simple |
|
Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 13887 Location: UK
|