essay:it is better for children to grow up in a big city or in the countryside?

[Qhuong90]

In my opinion, it is better for children to grow up in a big city than in the countryside because a life in a big city provides them with a better education, better health care and wider relationship.
First of all, there are many prestigious schools in a city where many parents can trust in to built their children’s concrete foundation when they are young. Children have chances to be taught by talented teachers, broaden their knowledge with well-equipped laboratories. Moreover, there are many museums, art galleries where children can get useful information. Not only that, the competitive environment encourages them to try their best studying, in contrast to life in the country that is at slow pace. It seems clear to me that children can accomplish their goals quicker when living in the city.
Another reason that strengthens my opinion is that children receive a better health care when living in a big city. Children are so naughty that they always get hurt themselves. In addition, they easily catch diseases such as measles, flu. In that case, they need an immediate treatments so that there are not any complication afterward. Moreover, it is more secure in the city than in the countryside, especially at night, because there are well lighted roads and it is rarely black out.
Last but not least, it is advantage to live in big city where children can meet the variety of people come from different places in country and learn how to deal with them. In contrary to a life in rural with fewer population, everyone know each other well. A life in big city is very complicated but it is better for children to get familiar with difficulties and obstacles to be mature.
In conclusion, I think a childhood in big city overweigh that in countryside because it prepare children for what real life is like.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students (2)

[Saeed7]

I agree with your opinion.I believe living in countryside is better when we get older! To build a normal life kids need to be in touch with real life in cities.
But also I believe kids in cities need more consideration especially mentally. Living in cities means to have more experience and contact with others.all above, based on
the principal "The more you get relation the more you will be experienced" I absolutely agree with the whole idea!

[Saeed7]

third line:to built is wrong.after to we use simple present tense which means you should have written to build.
more quickly is better to use.
I guess it's good essay.of course I am new and you can't trust my judgment!!!:)

[Qhuong90]

thank you for spending time reading my writing. I'm glad you leave me some judgment.
Keep doing that when I post new essay.