May I get some proofreading? Essay: Job salary and vacation time

[Yukamars]

May I get some proofreading? Thanks!^^

Do you agree or disagree? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

With the rapidly booming economy in society, the preference of a job selection has become an issue. A fair proportion of people contend that it is preferable to choose a job with more vacation time but a low salary; other people, nonetheless, advocate that a job with high payments yet lack of vacation time is a better choice. As far as I am concerned, I side with the latter. Of the countless reasons or facts that strengthen my viewpoint, I will reveal the most consequential and conspicuous ones here.

The first plain truth I am presenting here is that for majority of people, the ultimate objective of working is to gain a sense of achievement rather than relaxation. On no account can we ignore the importance of the professional accomplishment for our life. A high salary job, therefore, is not only offering one’s material well-being life but also reflecting one’s capability and success. According to a recent survey conducted by personnel exchange center in Beijing China, 70 percent of university graduated students are inclinable to a job with good payments is because they believe it could largely represent their personal attainment. The graduates also express that it is impossible to consider about the vacation time within a stable and satisfactory income from their work. Accordingly, the most striking conclusion is obvious that a job with a generous remuneration is a favorable choice for people, even it means less leisure time.

Furthermore, behind my preference lies an equally important fact that most of the office workers and businessmen tend to adapt into a life with quick rhythm; that is, it seems worthless for them to have long vacations as they will still consider about their business everyday and not be able to comfort much from the relaxation. For instance, the successful leaders never find themselves have time to enjoy leisure since they have too much work to do. Besides, the statistical reports from Hong Kong have revealed that those whose are enthusiastic on their work always acquire far more pleasure from their occupational experience than from their leisure-time. According to the report, there are quite a few even showing that they feel anxious and lack of security as they get used to the fully-scheduled life pattern.

Admittedly, leisure time is a considerable factor in job selection yet it is not regarded as the priority. People may concern more about the stability, the potential opportunities for self-development, and the fellowship, which have more profound meaning to their future career and life standard. Thus, it seems to be partial and unthoughtful if one chooses a job merely rely on the long vacation time it has; for the reason that they may be overstressed with the meager remuneration later on and may feel easily lost the orientation for their career.

In conclusion, to majority of people, choosing a high payment job with less leisure time, compared with a job has long vacation but low salary, is instrument rather than detrimental. With a high-salaried job, we have the promise both of greater material riches and of even greater sense of accomplishment and mental happiness and security. Taking into account all these factors, we may safely come to the conclusion that a job with high payments yet lack of vacation time is a better choice.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture in social science class

[Yukamars]

hope I can get some suggestions =)

[Katty2010]

Do you agree or disagree? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

With the rapidly booming economy in society, the preference of a job selection has become an issue. A fair proportion of people contend that it is preferable to choose a job with more vacation time but a low salary; other people, nonetheless, advocate that a job with high payments yet lack of vacation time is a better choice. As far as I am concerned, I side with the latter. Of the countless reasons or facts that strengthen my viewpoint, I will reveal the most consequential and conspicuous ones here.

The first plain truth I am presenting here is that for majority of people, the ultimate objective of working is to gain a sense of achievement rather than relaxation. On no account can we ignore the importance of the professional accomplishment for our life. A high salary job, therefore, is not only offering one’s A materialISTIC well-being life but also reflecting one’s capability and success. According to a recent survey conducted by personnel exchange center in Beijing China, 70 percent of university graduated students are inclinable to a job with good payments is because they believe it could largely represent their personal attainment. The graduates also express that it is impossible to consider about the vacation time within a stable and satisfactory income from their work. Accordingly, the most striking conclusion is obvious that a job with a generous remuneration is a favorable choice for people, even it means less leisure time.

Furthermore, behind my preference lies an equally important fact that most of the office workers and businessmen tend to adapt into a life with quick rhythm; that is, it seems worthless for them to have long vacations as they will still consider about their business everyday and not be able to comfort much from the relaxation. For instance, the successful leaders never find themselves have ENOUGH time to enjoy leisureACTIVITES since they have too much work to do. Besides, the statistical reports from Hong Kong have revealed that those whose are enthusiastic on their work always acquire far more pleasure from their occupational experience than from their leisure-time. According to the report, there are quite a few even showing that they feel anxious and lack of security as they get used to the fully-scheduled life pattern.

Admittedly, leisure time is a considerable factor in job selection yet it is not regarded as the priority. People may concern more about the stability, the potential opportunities for self-development, and the fellowship, which have more profound meaning to their future career and life standard. Thus, it seems to be partial and unthoughtful if one chooses a job THAT merely relIES on the long vacation time it OFFERS; for the reason that they may be overstressed with the meager remuneration later on and may feel easily lost the orientation for their career.

.In conclusion, to majority of people, choosing a high payment job with less leisure time, compared with a job THAT OFFERS has long vacation but low salary, is instrumentAL rather than detrimental. With a high-salaried job, we have the promise of both greater material riches, and of even greater sense of accomplishment, and [COMMA] mental happiness and security. Taking into account all these factors, we may I safely come to the conclusion that a job with high payment yet lack of vacation time is a better choice
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[Yukamars]

Thank you very much, Katty!
I will revise it carefully^^