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 #2 (permalink) Tue Mar 08, 2011 18:53 pm Need feedback on my essay.. Please give your precious two minutes. |
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A Business companies' success dependS upon their ITS existing employees. Business performance is relIESy UPon employees work and THEIR desirableness to work but. I disagree with the statement, business should hire employees for their entire lives.
FIRSTLY, Employees should be enthusiastic, energetic and knowledgeable or AND experienced which may bring EXCEL A business at the top. If employees know that they are hired for their lives, they will not work with concentration and efficienCEY AS THAY ARE REQUIRED TO. They WOULD know that they wiLL not be driven out if their performances are affected. In this situation, business will stop growing or sometimes it may lead to loss due to employees' disabilities.
If business authorities hire employees for their entire lives, fresh talents who do not have any experience of work in the industry will not get jobs. It means that they WILL have no scope for their lives after graduating from the colleges. Fresh new talents come with innovative ideas which may help A business to compete with other competitors in the market. Also, fresh new talents may develop new techniques for manufacturing process or for problem solving process. Fresh talents are more energetic and they have burning desire to do something in their lives.
TO SUM IT UP I THINK A person will get bored with his life IF HE FOLLOWS SAME ROUTINE OR JOB. He needs a break from his busy life. I think business should not hire employees for their entire lives.
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 Katty2010
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| #3 (permalink) Wed Mar 09, 2011 2:52 am Need feedback on my essay.. Please give your precious two minutes. |
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Well, thank you very much for answer.
Katty2010, according to you, what should I need to improve???? |
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Acc1444
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 02 Oct 2010
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| #4 (permalink) Wed Mar 09, 2011 10:16 am Need feedback on my essay.. Please give your precious two minutes. |
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You should practice reading as much as possible. Watch english dramas and listen to conversations. If you can read Reader Digest read that, or just read a story book or some thing. Your construction of sentence is not so good, so you need to work on that. Goodluck!
_________________
Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
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Everything Is Temporary! |
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Katty2010
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 964
Location: GaintPeach
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| #5 (permalink) Thu Mar 10, 2011 18:04 pm Need feedback on my essay.. Please give your precious two minutes. |
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Same topic
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Knowledge is power but experience is also important in work with knowledge. Success rate of business is dependent upon the hard work of business employees. I agree with the statement that business should hire employees for their entire life.
If employees are hired for their entire lives, slowly slowly they will get good command on their jobs. They will become perfect about their jobs. They will able to find possible outcomes of sudden or estimated problems. These all come with the experience and these make them to work efficiently. Employees can develop their own techniques from their experience and make work easier and faster which speeds up manufacturing process. My friend, ramesh started restaurant. On the first week, he was complaining about over rush at his restaurant which make guests to wait outside for meal but now, I can see improvement. He makes a provision regularly during lunch and dinner time. So, guests do not have to wait outside for their meals. They will get their meals within five minutes.
If employees are hired for their entire lives, employees will get aware about their responsibility. If they do not work, they will not get paid or sometime business will no more exist. So, employees will try their best to increase growth of business. Increase in growth will give more incentive and rewards. My father always work with complete involvement. He knows that if he does not do his job very well, he will get decrement in salary because his poor performance.
The entire invest of employees' lives will make aware of competitors of business in the market. So, employees will try their best not to let down business. I am a dealer of computer. I always to market research to stay in the market. If I do not to do market research, I may not get an idea about consumers' requirement and price change in the market.
To sum it all up, entire investment of a person's life leads to great success for him as well as for the business.
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Need feedback.
Word count: 332
I have written again because I found wrong word counter.
Thanking you for mentoring my essay. |
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Acc1444
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 02 Oct 2010
Posts: 38
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| #6 (permalink) Thu Mar 10, 2011 18:08 pm Need feedback on my essay.. Please give your precious two minutes. |
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You can write between 300-350 words. It would not matter.
_________________
Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
------
Everything Is Temporary! |
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Katty2010
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 964
Location: GaintPeach
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| #7 (permalink) Thu Mar 10, 2011 18:11 pm Need feedback on my essay.. Please give your precious two minutes. |
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| Please give feedback. Well, previous essay contains less than 220 words. That is why I have written it again. |
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Acc1444
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 02 Oct 2010
Posts: 38
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