museum or public playground which do you like?

[Adrian325]

what is your opinion about government, should they provide more fund to art and museum or public recreation facilities?

Views differ greatly when it comes to the statement that should government support art museums and music performance or recreational facilities. Some people believe that government should spend more money in promoting museums and music centre, because individuals can fulfil their inspirit. On the other side of the divide, people strongly oppsed with this claim, cite that government have to pay more attention to public recreational facilities. I agree with the later one. Following are some reasons to support my viewpoint.To begin with, I believe that all kinds of facilities are equally important. Take myself experience for example, I like go to music centre, because I like music very much and I enjoy positioned myself in the music world. Also I like to go to playground play basketball with my friends, to strength my body. Both the music performance and playground are indispensable to me, Therefore we cann't judge which kind of facility is more important than the other.Moreover, playground is more useful than music centre. We may play basketball everyday, but we wonn't attend performance like this, when I was young, my father taught me how to play basketball in playground every day during my summer vacation, however we didn't often go to music centre, we went there twice a year. That is the reason why I strongly insist that the government should build more recreational devices.
Finally, go to music centre or museum is much more expensive than go to indoor sports centre. It cost me 100 yuan for one visit, whereas the indoor sports centre costs only 5 yuan. No wonder why indoor sports centre is always full of people, thus government should provide more public recreational devices instead of implying that music centres are more important.
In conclusion, I think every kind of public facility is equally important, but we probably visit playground more often that music centre, In addition, museumes and music centre are more expensive than playground. As a result, I refute the idea that it is more important for the government to build more museums and music centres than to build playground.

TOEFL listening lectures: What aspect of Ben Franklin's life does the speaker mainly discuss?

[Katty2010]

Views differ greatly when it comes to the statement that should government support art museums and music performance or recreational facilities. Some people believe that government should spend more money in promoting museums and music centre, because individuals can fulfil their inspirit. On the other HAND side of the divide, people strongly oppsed with this claim, cite that government have to pay more attention to public recreational facilities.. I agree with the later one. Following are some reasons to support my viewpoint.

To begin with, I believe that all kinds of facilities are equally important. Take myself experience for example, I like TO go to music centre, because I like music
very much and I enjoy positioned myself in the music world. Also I like to go to playground TO play basketball with my friends, to strength my body. Both the music performance and playground are indispensable to me, Therefore we can nOt judge which kind of facility is more important than the other. Moreover, playground is more useful than music centre. We may play basketball everyday, but we won't attend performance like this, when I was young, my father taught me how to play basketball in playground every day during my summer vacation, however we didn't often go WENT to music centre, we ONLY went there twice a year. That is the reason why I strongly insist that the government should build more recreational devices FACILITIES.

Finally, goING to A music centre or A museum is much more expensive than goING to indoor sports centre. It costS me 100 yuan for one visit, whereas the indoor sports centre costs only 5 yuan. No wonder why indoor sports centre is always full of people, thus government should provide more public recreational devices instead of implying that music centres are more important.

In conclusion, I think every kind of public facility is equally important, but we probably visit playground more often that music centre, In addition, museumes and music centre are more expensive than playground. As a result, I refuSe the idea that it is more important for the government to build more museums and music centres than to build playgroundS.

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Adrian please give a space after each paragraph for clearity and avoid repeating same thing again and again.
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[Adrian325]

thank you for your suggestion, I've just write another essay about this topic please help me to revise it, many thanks