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[Essay] My camping holiday



 
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[Essay] My camping holiday #1 (permalink) Thu Mar 10, 2011 20:17 pm   [Essay] My camping holiday
 

I will never forget my first camping holiday.It was a day of the summer before school of 2009 when my family and I decided we should do something adventurous before the start of school so we take a camping trip to Danube Delta.The next day packed up our things and after a long journey we arrived at destination, a big and modern hostel.
I loved the campsite, not only because it had the best views I have witnessed in my years of travelling, but because the staff were friendly and helpful.Facilities on the campsite was very good with a drying room, showers, a wash area, and a very well stocked shop, where you could buy souvenirs.
Here I went with the boat on the Delta channels, I learn how to catch fish and watched the best sun sets ever, with truly amazing colours.
The time that I've spent there was great and I hope I will go there soon.

Please correct it and try to make it more interesting renewing words like great, amazing, big, modern with some synonyms
Thank you and sorry for bad english.
D.Alex
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 09 Jan 2011
Posts: 41

Re: [Essay] My camping holiday #2 (permalink) Thu Mar 10, 2011 21:43 pm   Re: [Essay] My camping holiday
 

D.Alex wrote:
I will never forget my first camping holiday.
It was a day of the summer before the school year of 2009 when my family and I decided (we should) to do something adventurous before the (start of) school starts so we (take) took a camping trip to Danube Delta.The (next) following day we packed up our things and after a long journey we arrived at the destination, a big and modern hostel.
I loved the campsite, not only because it had the best views I (have) had witnessed (in) during my years of travelling, but because the staff were friendly and helpful. Facilities on the campsite (was) were very good, with a drying room, showers, a wash area, and a very well stocked shop, where you could buy souvenirs.
(Here) Now I went with the boat on the Delta channels (, I learn how) so as to learn how to catch fish and I watched there the best sun sets ever, with truly amazing colours.
The time that I ('ve) spent there was great and I hope I will go there again soon.

Please correct it and try to make it more interesting renewing words like great, amazing, big, modern with some synonyms
Thank you and I am sorry for my bad English.


I know this will need re-checking.

Thanks
E2e4
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Joined: 01 Jan 2011
Posts: 1523

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[Essay] My camping holiday #3 (permalink) Thu Mar 10, 2011 21:59 pm   [Essay] My camping holiday
 

Thanks a lot.

D.Alex wrote:
try to make it more interesting renewing words like great, amazing, big, modern with some synonyms

?
D.Alex
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 09 Jan 2011
Posts: 41

[Essay] My camping holiday #4 (permalink) Fri Mar 11, 2011 9:06 am   [Essay] My camping holiday
 

I will never forget my first camping holiday. It was a day of in the summer before school of 2009 when my family and I decided we should do something adventurous before the start of school so we take took a camping trip to the Danube Delta.The next day we packed up our things and after a long journey we arrived at our destination, a big (I suggest: an impressive) and,modern hostel.
I loved the campsite, not only because it had the best views I have had witnessed in my years of travelling, but because the staff were friendly and helpful. Facilities on the campsite was were very good with a drying room, showers, a wash area, and a very well stocked shop, where you could buy souvenirs.
Here I went with the boat sailed on the Delta channels, I learned how to catch fish and watched the best (I suggest: most incredible) sunsets ever, with truly amazing colours.
The time that I've spent there was great and I hope I will go there (I suggest: return) again soon.

You have a good vocabulary and use sentence structures appropriately. You need to pay further attention to the tenses. as this is your weakest point in this piece.
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