| HElp~ | Why the TOEFLŪ is not accepted everywher on earth? |
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 #1 (permalink) Sun Mar 20, 2011 17:32 pm re-posted because of more error reported.=To be independent in young age or not? |
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Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible Other
young adults prefer to live wlth their families for a longer time Which of these situations. What do you think which is better?
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Everyone wants to earn money oneday from himself and become an independent. I think becoming independent in aults lives is better than relying on families for longer time. Becoming independent learns a lot to young adults. It has two advantages.
First, young adults understand the value of time. Time is very important in life. If we miss time, we may loose much more. For example, if I reach at job late, I may get fired and I may loose money. These types of situations make young adults aware about time importance.
Second, young adults understance the value of money. Money is a need of poor people to get food and we only realise when we do not have at some situation. For example, My friend, Jayesh wanted to complete his bachelor program but he could not complete it because his father died in middle of the study and he had to go for job to earn money. At that time, he realized that he might have started earn money or he might have started saving. He would complete his program.
Being an independent in younghood will give starting experience of entire their lives. They may have chance to learn more in their younghood and they may capable to deal with possible problems which may come in their rest of lives. For example, I get a total burden of my life expenses rather than giving to my parents. I will become aware about managing money for my future expenses. If I want to complete my master program, I will start saving money from couple of years, ago which may not create more money problem in middle of the study or starting of it. I will learn how to manage life in my younghood.
In brief, I think being indepedent in young age teach lots of things. It teaches time management, money management and also makes aware of money value. |
Word Count: 318
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university adviser and a student |
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Acc1444
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 02 Oct 2010
Posts: 38
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| #2 (permalink) Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:10 am re-posted because of more error reported.=To be independent in young age or not? |
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Everyone wants to earn money oneday from himself and become an independent INDIVIDUAL. I think becoming independent in AN aDult'sHOD lives is better than relying on families for longer time. Becoming independent learns a lot to young adults. It has two advantages.
FirstLY, young adults understand the value of time. Time is very important in life. If we miss time, we may loose much more. For example, if I reach at job late, I may get fired and I may loose money. These types of situations make young adults aware about time importance.
SecondLY, young adults understanD the value of money. Money is a need of poor people to get food and we only realise when we do not have at some situation. For example, My friend, Jayesh wanted to complete his bachelor program but he could not complete it because his father died in middle of the study and he had to go for job to earn money. At that time, he realized that IF he might haD started earnING money or he might have started saving. He would HAVE complete his program.
Being an independent in younghood will give starting experience of entire their lives. [WRONG SENTENCE STRUCTURE].They may have chance to learn more in their younghood and they may BECOME capable to deal with possible problems which may come LATER in their rest of lives. For example, I get a total burden of my life expenses rather than giving to my parents. I will become aware about managing money for my future expenses. If I want to complete my master program, I will start saving money from couple of years, ago which may not create more money problem in middle of the study or starting of it. I will learn how to manage life in my younghood.
In brief, I think being indepedent AT A young age teachS US A lot of things. It teaches time management, money management and also makes US aware of money value.
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Hmmm...Still need work on sentence structure!!!
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 Katty2010
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| #3 (permalink) Mon Mar 21, 2011 15:38 pm re-posted because of more error reported.=To be independent in young age or not? |
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| Quote: |
Everyone wants to earn money one day from himself and become an individual independent. I think to be individual independent for adults in young age is better than to rely on families. Adults will learn a lot to be independent in their young age. It has two advantages.
First, young adults understand the value of time. Time is very important in life. If we miss time, we may loose much more. For example, if I reach at job late, I may get fired and I may loose money. These types of situations make young adults aware about time importance.
Second, young adults understand the value of money. Money is a need of poor people to get food and we only realize when we need money. For example, My friend, Jayesh wanted to complete his bachelor program but he could not complete it because his father died in middle of the study and he had to go for job to earn money. At that time, he realized that he might have started earning money or he might have started saving. He would able to complete his program.
Young adults will have experience about lives which they may going to continue after completing education . They may have chance to learn more in their younghood and these experience may make them capable to deal with possible problems which may come latter in their lives. For example, If I get a total burden of my life expenses rather than giving to my parents, I will become aware about managing money for my future expenses. If I want to complete my master program, I should start saving money before couple of years, ago which I may not have trouble financially latter to complete my program. That is how I will learn how to manage life in my younghood.
In brief, I think adults will learn a lot in their early age before getting married which may increase their responsibilities. It will teach them time management, money management and also they will learn values of money and time in their lives. Without money, they will unable to satisfy their needs and once, time would have gone in their lives which would never come back.
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Word Count : 362
Katty2010, I think I have corrected, well. You may observe less error in same essay.
Please give feedback on it.
Thanking you for kind support to me. |
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Acc1444
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 02 Oct 2010
Posts: 38
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| HElp~ | Why the TOEFLŪ is not accepted everywher on earth? |
