A short story

[D.Alex]

I'll certainly remember that day all my life. I’ve been planing for weeks a date with the sweetest girl from school and that day was the moment of succes, he accepted my invitation to the a famous and romantic restaurant. Last night before the date, I didn’t close my eyes, I just thought about what's going to happen. After a waking night I was very excited and happy that finally the long awaited moment had come. I went to the restaurant to wait her and when she arrived we sat at the table and ordered the house specialty. There were some really great moments until the waiter came with the bill. I was shocked when I saw that I had forgotten my wallet at home.The girl had to pay and she got mad at me.I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

Please, correct it and give me some suggestions to replace some words like great moments ; very excited and happy ; the moment of succes.

Thank you.

[E2e4]

I'll certainly remember that day all my life. I planned a date with the sweetest girl from school for weeks. The date that came should have been the moment of success as she had accepted my invitation to the famous and romantic restaurant.
The night before the date, I hadn't closed my eyes since I'd been thinking what was going to happen. After a sleepless night I had been very excited and happy that finally the long and awaited moment was to come. I had gone to the restaurant to wait her and when she arrived we sat at the table and ordered the house specialty. There were some really great moments until the waiter came with the bill. I was shocked when I saw that I had forgotten my wallet at home. The girl had to pay and she got mad at me. I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

[James]

[Beeesneees]

Just a couple more corrections are needed:

'speciality' not 'specialty'

I was shocked as I realized that I had left my wallet at home.
or
I was shocked as I realized that I had forgotten my wallet.

If you use 'forgotten' don't use 'at home'.
_________________
Cheers m' dears!

[E2e4]

I'll certainly remember that day all my life. I planned a date with the sweetest girl from our school for weeks. The date that came should have been the moment of success as she had accepted my invitation to the famous and romantic restaurant.
Throughout the night before the date, I hadn't closed my eyes since I'd been thinking what was going to happen. Anyhow, I had been very excited and happy that finally the long and awaited moment was (was going?) to come. I had gone to the restaurant to wait for her and when she arrived we sat at the table and ordered the house speciality. There were some really great moments until the waiter came with the bill. I was shocked when I realised that I had forgotten my wallet. The girl had to pay for the dinner and so she got mad at me. I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

As it can be seen I tried to improve my writing using the teachers suggestions. Any better?

Please correct this text as well as you did with the D.Alex's.

Thanks

[Beeesneees]

I'll certainly remember that day all my life. I had planned a date with the sweetest girl from our school for weeks. The date, that when it came, should have been the a moment of success as she had accepted my invitation to the a famous and romantic restaurant.
Throughout the night before the date, I hadn't closed my eyes since as I'd been thinking about what was going to happen. Anyhow, I had been was very excited and happy that finally the long and awaited moment was (was going?) to had come. I had gone went to the restaurant to wait for her and when she arrived we sat at the table and ordered the house speciality. There were some really great moments until the waiter came with the bill. I was shocked when I realised (there was nothing wrong with 'realized' - it is an alternative spelling) that I had forgotten my wallet. The girl had to pay for the dinner and so she got mad at me. I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

As you can see, some of it is better and some is worse. I find it particularly hard to understand why you chose to ignore some of the earlier corrections then made mistakes in the same places in your writing.
_________________
Cheers m' dears!

[Oad]

wow, after corrected several times, the text sounds really good :).
Thank you so much, Bee.

[D.Alex]

Great.
Thank you.

[E2e4]

Teacher Beeesneees, one more question.

The date, when it came, should have been a moment of success as she had accepted my invitation to a famous and romantic restaurant.

In the sentence above, I wonder if it is also possible to say "The date to come" instead of "The date, when it came,".

Thanks a lot.

[Beeesneees]

Yes, that would just about work, but to be honest, it wouldn't sound as natural.
_________________
Cheers m' dears!

[James]