 #2 (permalink) Sun Apr 10, 2011 14:10 pm Re: Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others li |
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Hi, I would be happy to make some comments on your essay, although it is difficult because your essays are so well written! Is there a word limit to the TOEFL? This essay seems quite long.
| Vsravan wrote: |
Topic : Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life. Which approach do you prefer? Explain why.
Change is the only constant factor in this world. It is imperative for all of us to acclimatize ourselves to any change. By adapting ourselves to different changes, we can make our life more exciting and entertaining. On the other hand, lives of those people, {no comma here}who don’t want any change, become monotonous and boring. Rather than leading [a] boring and unexciting life, I prefer to have a journey filled with thrills, challenges and changes.
Sometimes, making a small change to our daily activities brings more happiness into our lives. It breaks the monotony that gripped[use grips to parallel tense of helps] our life and helps us in resolving some problems. Until last year, I used to get up at 7am in the morning and used to{this used to is optional, and the sentence sounds better without it} go to the office by 8AM. Lack of exercise to my body{awkward, say "physical exercise"} made me not only sluggish but also unhealthy and obese. Then, I brought[brought doesn't sound right here - try made or instilled] a small change in my daily life schedule. Instead of staying in bed till 7AM, I started getting up at 6’o clock and going for a morning walk. Walking in fresh air under early morning sun has helped me to be active for the rest of the day. Walking at a brisk pace has given the required exercise to my body and allowed me to burn unwanted fat. Eventually, I became less obese and increased my fitness level. Had I not made that small change in my daily schedule, I wouldn’t be looking as fit as I am today.
Quite often ‘change’ {don't think the quotes are needed here - you would use quotes if it is not really a change or you are using a term you made up yourself}is required for all of us to bring back the energy, the positive attitude and the charm which we lost because of a monotonous life style. My friend has worked in an automobile sales unit for 6 years. His work in that company was very mechanical[mechanical is wrong word here - I think mundane would be better] and it hardly calls[called to match was] for any innovation. Although he looked happy and satisfied in the first few years, later on he got bored, became lethargic and less interested to face [in facing] any challenges. Finally, unable to bear with his boring and routine work, he quit the company and started his own business. Although,[no comma here] his business is still in its nascent stages, nowadays I can see a lot of change in his personality, attitude and thinking. In a [this] way, he found back[rediscovered] his enthusiasm, perseverance and charm which he lost somewhere in that 6[six]years of monotonous and strenuous life.
Change is the spice of life. Some of us may argue that doing the same activity repeatedly makes us perfect and experienced. Ironically, they fail to understand that experience and perfection are useless without motivation and vigor to succeed. I belive 'change' [no quotes] brings not only success but also happiness into our lives.
TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention New York Harbor? |
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 Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2132
Location: Nashville TN, USA
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