Telecommuting VS Working at a office

[Santank]

Hi, I'm new here and preparing for my TOEFL test. Hope you can help me review and correct my essay!
Thank you so much!

Telecommuting VS Working at a office

Telecommuting is the new way of work, you can stay at home and get the job done by using the computer. This new way increasingly becomes common as much as the traditional way - working at a office. Both of them have persuasive advantages, some are mentioned below.

The very first advantage of telecommuting is the freedom it gives to the workers. When you work in telecommuting way, all you have to do is stay at home and stick with your computer. It would be very wonderful for anyone who hates the regulations and rules. You can get up at any time you want, do your work wherever and whenever you want. You are not disturbed by any noise from other offices; everything is just on your own.
The other reason many people choose telecommuting is that its convenience. You can do your job at home, escape from traffic jam, the polluted air and all the noise. How peaceful the life is. Not only that, working at home also means that you do not need to get dressed and make up everyday. I heard that many women have to spend lots of time on dressing and doing the make up.Telecommuting also means saying goodbye to all these things. Therefore, it is easy to understand why telecommuting has become more and more common.

However, the traditional way of working at the office is not the bad choice. The first reason is the numerous beautiful things you can catch on the way to office and even at the office everyday. Let's imagine, you wake up early to catch the new shining light of a new day, enjoy the fresh air. You go to work and get new things from the way to office. Furthermore,when you work at the office, you can learn many useful skills that you surely do not have when you just stay at home. I also had an experience from working at office, I learned and was able to make seventy phone calls in just two hours.
The other specific reason that people should get up and go to work everyday is for social relationship. Firstly, you learn how to get along with everyone, the most important skill for life is how you get on with others. Secondly, you learn from their experience and make use of this. What you can learn from this is never provided just through the internet and computer. Therefore, although the freedom is very attractive, it is not so useful as relationship between human and human, and it is also my choice: working in an office.

In summaries, each way of working has its own advantages. Ones can give your the freedom and convenience; other provides you knowledge and relationship. For me, working at an office is the better choice. In my opinion, the important reason why people live in the same planet, work and talk with each other is that we need the relation. It is vital for our lives just like air, water and food, so I want to enjoy the time with others, get to know them and learn from them. Therefore I choose to be a worker in a office in the traditional way.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a Drama professor

[Katty2010]

Telecommuting is the new way of work, you can stay at home and get the job done by using the computer. This new way increasingly becomes common as much as the traditional way - working at a office. Both of them have persuasive advantages, some are mentioned below.

The very first advantage of telecommuting is the freedom it gives to the workers. When you work in telecommuting way, all you have to do is stay at home and stick with your computer. It would be very wonderful for anyone who hates the regulations and rules. You can get up at any time you want, do your work wherever and whenever you want. You are not disturbed by any noise from other offices; everything is just on your own.
The other reason many people choose telecommuting is that its convenienT. You can do your job at home, escape from traffic jamS, ANS ALSO FROM NOISE AND AIR POLLUTION. the pollutIONed air and all the noise. How peaceful the life is WOULD TURN OUT TO BE? Not only that, working at home also means that you do not need to get dressed and PUT ON make up everyday. I heard that many women have to spend lots of time on dressing and doing theIR make up.Telecommuting also means saying goodbye to all these things. Therefore, it is easy to understand why telecommuting has become more and more common.

However, the traditional way of working at the office is not the A bad choice. The first reason is the numerous beautiful things you can Watch on the way to office and even at the office everyday. Let's imagine, you wake up early to catch the new shining light of a new day, enjoy the fresh air. You go to work and get new things from ON the way to YOUR office. Furthermore,when you work at the office, you can learn many useful skills that you surely do not have when you just stay at home. I also had an experience from working at office, I learned and was able to make seventy phone calls in just two hours.
The other specific reason that people should get up and go to work everyday is for social relationship. Firstly, you learn how to get along with everyone, the most important skill for life is how you get ALonG with others. Secondly, you learn from their experience and make use of this. What you can learn from this is never provided just through the internet and computer. Therefore, although the freedom is very attractive, it is not so useful as COMMUNICATION between human and human., and it is also my choice: working in an office

TO SUM IT UP, each way of working has its own advantages. Ones can give your the freedom and convenience; other provides you knowledge and relationship. For me, working at an office is the better choice. In my opinion, the important reason why people live in the same planet, work and talk with each other is that we need the relation. It is vital for our lives just like air, water and food, so I want to enjoy the time with others, get to know them and learn from them. Therefore I choose to be a worker in a office in the traditional way.

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[Nafiye]

Please correct my mistakes.
Technological developments are becoming more and more common.Also,technology makes our life easier in several aspects.Telecommuting is one of this
technological advances.In this way,people can earn money from their home by communicating with the office by computer.It has lots of advantages.
The first point I would like to make is that,telecommuting provides some opportunities for people that, they do not have to obey office rules.In other words,employers can be more free by this way.For example,they do not have to get up early.In addition to that, they do their work whenever they want,and take a break in any time.Thus,It is a very good advantage for people to regulate their own time.Moreover, some people, want to wear leisurewear while they are working.Through telecommuting,these kind of people are able to work even when wearing pyjama.
The second point I would like to make is that,telecommuting lessens the traffic burden effectively.Because,people work in their house and they do not have to use their car.Further,it helps people that,they avoid day to day stress and feel themselves more peaceful. Also,people escape from air and noisy pollution by this way.Because of this reason, telecommuting may be useful for peoples' healty.
The last point I would like to make is that,telecommuting is benefit for saving money.People who work at home do not pay for babysitter or housekeeper any money.People look after themselves to their children.Therefore,telecommuting facilitates people life in a positive way.Furthermore,it also provides some advantages for employers.Employers who hire telecommuters rather than traditional workers, do not spend money for office equipments,such as computer,desk and office chair.Also,it decreases service expenses.Because,the number of workers decline,so the usage of electricity,water and other civil services lessens noticeably.
To conclude,telecommuting is a very convenient technology in giving freedom,decreasing daily stress and saving money.On the other hand,working in an office is also advantageous in many aspects,such as having an office experiences and enhancing social relationships.Telecommuting is a significant change in our century.Thus,earning money at home with a minimum stress makes telecommuting preferable for me.